Eight Seasons
by NiceIceEdward
Summary: Alice has a vision which dramatically changes things for her, Edward, Bella and Jasper.
1. Chapter 1

_'Now that you're a member of the family Bella, I suppose you should understand that my family is sometimes prone towards...trading. Love binds us naturally, and there is no question of my loyalty towards Esme. Emmett and Rosalie seem to follow my and Esme's example, but Edward, Jasper and Alice have been known to switch the stories occasionally. Alice adores Jasper so generally speaking, it is usually him she remains with. Occasionally though, as we've spent the odd year or two in a new place, Alice and Edward have played the happy couple. To all outward observers it's as though Alice and Jasper never existed. Internally within the family we of course knew better._

_'I realize it's been many years since your change, and you've adapted very well to all aspects of our games, and we have enjoyed greater companionship in general, thanks to your presence. However, I wished to inform you of these things, because Alice has had a vision. It involves her and Edward, as well as you.'_

_I remembered being stunned into silence by Carlisle's remark. 'Me?!' I'd asked, dazed._

_Carlisle went on, 'Yes, you...and Jasper.'_

_My eybrows shot up, 'Me and Jasper?! What?!'_

_I recalled that Alice and Jasper had left with Edward to go hunting that morning. The idea frightened me. 'Do....does Edward, did Alice tell Edward? About her vision, I mean?'_

_Carlisle merely looked at me, his eyes full of compassion and apology._

_Of course, he reads minds._

_'Edward has decided that he has no interest in watching this happen, so he and Alice have spoken to me about it. Either you and Jasper may leave for the duration, or Edward and Alice will. I'm sorry that any of you should have to go for any reason, but I respect my son's feelings. What he saw in Alice's mind caused him more pain than he was able to deal with.'_

_'What was it?' I asked, desperate, feeling the tightness in my throat that would have once been followed by tears of frustration tumbling down my cheeks._

_'You'll have to speak to one of the children to know that. He wouldn't share it with me. I only know that his face wore a deeply pained expression as he told me, and that his eyes were haunted by great sadness. Bella, you've long been a special daughter to me so please don't think I fault you for anything. Things with my children just are,' he stumbled on his words uncomfortably, '...what they, are. I'm sure you have quite a bit of thinking you'd like to do. I'm going with Esme, Rosalie and Emmett to the city, you will have the house entirely to yourself without company for an hour. At the end of that time Edward will return to pack his things, Alice has already packed hers in his car. They will leave soon after that, and then...Jasper will arrive. Esme, Rosalie, Emmett and I will be gone for the rest of the week. During this time, you and Jasper should decide whether you'll stay or go, and notify Edward and Alice by text. Edward's requested that you not call him Bella, I'm certain you can understand his pain.'_

_I could feel my face crumple in an awful way, it was torture to cry when there was no release of tears. Carlisle came to me and wrapped his arms around me. 'I'm sorry Bella, I know this must be a very painful prospect for you, but we'll get throught it, and as soon as possible, I hope to see my family reunited again.'_

*~*~*

Jasper's fingers were twined through mine as we walked. Remembering that conversation with Carlisle two years ago recalled the pain of that time and I squeezed Jasper's hand more tightly. He looked at me, and his brows knitted together as he felt my sudden tension and pain. "You're hurting, what is it?" He brought a hand up and cupped my cheek.

"I was remembering the last conversation I had with Carlisle, when he told me...explained to me about us, about Alice's vision," I replied, looking at the ground, still unable after all these years to shed the habit of trying to hide the blush which no longer came.

Jasper lifted my hand to his lips and tenderly kissed my hand. "That was the time of pain Bella, leave it in the past. This is the time for celebration, we will be together again, and happy again." I felt a sense of calm and contentment settle over me, and though I often wouldn't allow him to affect my emotions intentionally, I allowed it this time. I was so tense, nervous, heartbroken, but most of all, I was absolutely terrified that Edward would not accept me back. The past two years with Jasper had been a rollercoaster ride. He'd been kind, and patient and allowed me to go through everything I needed to, to accept what had happened. I'd argued initially, certain that there had to be another way. When I'd learned from Edward that Jasper had already accepted it and that it had become a certain future I had lashed out at Jasper. My fury had nearly lost me everything.

Jasper had been able to break through my rage enough, assisted I'm sure by his ability, to find out that if someone had to leave it would be me. I was already causing Edward so much pain, I would not force him into the pain of leaving his family too. Thankfully, Jasper had been able to manage himself better than I could. I had been horrible to him at first. I blamed his complacency in accepting things so easily for the whole situation. I screamed at him and emotionally punished him for his trite words. I forced him to defend himself.

"Bella, I've never questioned Alice's visions. They've been proven to me too many times. I always hear them knowing things can change, but I follow through on them to the letter, as if they won't. Those times include the one which brought you into our lives. I can't find it in myself to regret my committment to Alice's visions. Any of them, and especially not that one."

It had taken six long and arduous months together in a quiet cabin 100 miles outside of Ottawa for me to finally reach a point where I could live with Jasper without yelling at him. My first plan had of course been to refuse to even accept his company, but I recognized early on I would need the connection to my life with Edward. I'd lived for several months without anything to remind me that what had happened between Edward and I had been real. Not just something in my own imagination. I knew the pain of that absence and resigned myself to the knowledge that I couldn't endure the pain of separation from him alone again. So while I blamed and reviled Jasper for the whole situation, I clung desperately to him and his presence to keep me sane.

That had been the main fact which changed my outward treatment of him. In one of my more outlandish rages, we had fought, almost physically. I'd screamed that he was the last person I wanted to see ever again. Jasper had nearly left then. Switching from the complete acceptance of Alice and his life and love with her, to my intense daily onslaught of resentment proved to be almost too much for him. When I'd realized how far I'd pushed him, I'd begged him not to leave, changed my feelings completely and was contrite.

It was out of that, that Jasper and I finally found a way to live together, peacefully, and contentedly.

We'd learned quickly that the idea of Jasper and I together had been so intolerable for Edward that though we fled Washington to allow him and Alice to return, Edward had refused to go back, and he and Alice cut off all contact with the family and disappeared to, no one knew where.

Carlisle, Esme and Emmett conveyed again and again that we could return, and that they missed us (Rosalie was unsurprisingly resentful and wouldn't give an opinion.). But I had no intention of being in that house alone without Edward.

Slowly, tentatively at first, Jasper and I had become friends again. We eventually even became companions, reading together through the long hours of the quiet nights. After nearly a year, a loss of intimate contact began to affect us. From that time on, our evening reading periods were usually spent in some form of contact with each other.

The first time I'd admitted my sadness about it, I'd come into the room we called the library, knowing I'd find Jasper reading. It was raining outside, and the continual patter of the rain on the roof reminded me of Forks, and left me in anguish. "Jasper," I'd said softly. He'd looked up at me, his face empty of expression, his eyes not yet focused away from the story he'd been reading enough to capture my mood. "I miss Edward, and the family, but most of all, I miss Edward. Do you...do you miss the intimacy with Alice?"

He'd grinned at me, and set the book down. His face had lifted into a smug smirk, and he'd lifted his arms out to me, "Bella? Do you need a hug?" and chuckled. It made me laugh, and somehow, the laughter broke the tension of all the long months we'd spent apart from Edward and Alice, together. I'd crossed the room, and settled onto the couch beside Jasper and folded myself into his arms. No one could hug like Jasper, not even Edward. Jasper hugged you, not only with his arms, but also with his ability. It conveyed a warmth, and love deeper than words could ever define. Jasper had consented to hold me most of that long wet night. Neither of us had returned to the books we'd held, we just embraced until light came and touched our radiant bodies. With the dawn, the storm broke and sunshine filtered in through the windows. Jasper kissed the top of my head, and spoke for the first time that whole night. "Bella, can you forgive me for all the pain I've caused you? This is the second time I've forced Edward away, and I can't find it in me to forgive myself. But I believe I can live with it, if you'll forgive me."

I'd lifted a palm to his cheek. "Jasper, I don't see it that way, I did resent you for your acceptance at first, but I never have blamed you for Edward's absence, either time. On both occasions, it was Edward's choice." I could forgive him, but I couldn't hide the pain in my eyes. Jasper ran his fingers through my hair.

"I don't know why he's fled Bella. Truly, if it were me, I'd be there in Forks, waiting every moment for this to come to its conclusion. Alice said she saw us through eight seasons, four of them happily. We have a little more than a year to go. If we can, I'd like to spend the rest of it companionable, and if it includes this kind of comfort, then all the better for me." He smiled widely.

I'd agreed, and a deeper love had begun. The days and nights passed, and we spent time together laughing and enjoying the changes in the wilderness around us. The landscape of Canada is different than Washington, but it still felt home-like to me. Jasper and I hunted together, and our laughter drew us closer and closer together. Once, while chasing a herd of deer, we'd unintentionally slammed into each other. We'd tumbled to the ground, laughing like children, Jasper holding me to him as we rolled down the hill we'd both thrown ourselves from. At the bottom the valley we were in, the surrounding hills echoed our laughter, and I was blanketed in Jasper's pure joy, which he'd unintentionally washed me with as his happiness dropped the barrier he usually kept around his ability. We laughed, looking at each other covered with dirt from the slope, and twigs, leaves, and in my case, bugs entangled in our hair.

Jasper had begun getting his hilarity under control, only succumbling to short chuckles here and there. He propped himself up on an elbow and began removing the leaves, and twigs from my hair. A lady bug crawled across my cheek, I could feel it's tiny legs crossing my smooth skin. Jasper looked at me with amused eyes, trying hard to pick the ladybug up without squishing it accidentally. His smile, and the sweetness of concern in his eyes for the bug brought out feelings in me. "Jasper, I'm happy that if I have to be without Edward, that I'm here with you." I'd said looking up at him. His eyes dropped and met with my own. His hand fell slightly, and the movement startled the lady bug. As it flew off, it's tiny wings fluttering speedily, Jasper pressed his hand against my cheek.

"I feel the same way Bella," he'd said. The conviction in his voice surprised me a moment before his lips pressed against mine. It was a quick kiss. Acceptable between a brother and a sister, but if I was honest, it didn't feel like a kiss between siblings.

As it had with Edward so often, some sort of electrical charge was ignited by our contact. As I recognized the desire for what it was, my eyes widened in surprise. Jasper pushed himself up to a sitting position.

He looked across the valley and up the opposite cliff. "I think we've lost the herd. We'll have to find something else."

I sat up too, "I don't mind, I've had enough, I could drink more, it's true, but I'm fine. Would you like to return home?" I asked hesitantly. I was still surprised by the kiss, and my response to it.

His answer threw me, and after that moment, hurt me too. "To Forks?!" he'd said.

Even as a vampire, I'm unable to hide my feelings from showing on my face. Jasper must have seen my dismay, because he retracted quickly. "Oh," he said, then softly he said, "Yes, let's go back to the house." He stood then, and reached a hand down to help me up.

I ran beside him, as we neared the house, we both slowed to a walk. I felt myself hanging back a little. How could I imagine he didn't think of Alice, and feel the pull to return every bit as much as I did. But I'd suddenly, shockingly, found myself actually wanting to be here with just him. The fact that he'd jumped immediately to thoughts of someplace that insinuated his being somewhere with someone else, felt like a betrayal, though the real betrayal was ours.

I was walking at almost a human pace when Jasper finally realized it. "You're being unusually slow. Normally you try to outrun me."

I couldn't admit how hurt I suddenly felt, so I tried to come up with something that made sense. "I just...I...I," fishing around for an excuse wasn't working. Fortunately, Jasper misread my confused stuttering, "You're missing him. Aren't you?"

Recognizing the ease of the excuse, I clamped my mouth shut and nodded. Jasper stepped forward and wrapped his ever kind arms around me. "I know it's hard Bella." I leaned into his chest, listening to Jasper's beautiful voice resonate through his chest. I'd noticed it before when we'd lie on the couch reading together and discuss whatever book we read. He frequently read out loud to me, I'd never listened to his voice nor held him close when feeling an interest in him before though. Somehow it soothed me, and I knew instinctively that he wasn't using his abilities at the moment. Jasper's presence just soothed me. As though lifting my thoughts, Jasper said, "We're here to comfort one another, to soothe these lonely moments, but I understand and don't blame you. I sometimes miss Alice too." At the mention of her name, I stiffened and began drawing away from him. Jasper felt it and pulled away too. "Bella?" He looked at me, a question in his eyes. "It's...I'm fine, Jasper...I think I'm going to take a walk," as he opened his mouth to offer to come with me, I added, "alone."

There was hurt in his expression, and I wanted to take it away. "I just need to think for awhile, Jasper. It's bothering me more than usual today." I placed a hand on his arm, and as I felt that electrical feeling between us, I nearly pulled away. I felt him jerk minutely, and was relieved that in some way, he seemed to feel it too. I looked into his eyes, and then turned to walk down the path that ran around our house and across the meadows behind it. Jasper had chosen the house, I being too incapable of rational thought at the time. It suited us, a small place, hidden, quiet. It was more a bungalow than a house, but it was comfortable and picturesque. It had an enclosed patio area in the crook of the entrance, with a door in the high wall around the patio. It was beyond private, it felt like a tiny fortress. In the beginning I'd felt it was like a prison, for sometime though, I'd come to see it as a safe haven.

I'd walked for hours, when I'd returned, it was to find Jasper standing in the doorway of the library, leaning against the wall. He had a strange look on his face, and a steely expression in his eyes. As I approached him, he stared at me, not allowing either of us to look away.

"You weren't missing Edward, were you?" he said when I reached him. I just stared back at him, he looked almost angry and I was afraid of where this might go. He stood like a sentinal, his arms crossed over his chest, the muscles in his arms defined, by the tension he held them in. We stood looking into each others faces for a prolonged, and for me, excruciating moment. Then his face softened somewhat, "I'm sorry Bella, I didn't realize you...It's been so long since I recognized it, but I didn't think you would. I.." He trailed off, and suddenly his arms dropped and he stepped forward, wrapping one around my waist and pulled me against him forcefully. Our bodies made a small cracking sound as they came together, and I looked at Jasper wide eyed, and suddenly fearful. He pushed my hair off my face, and then wrapped his hand around my neck. I stared back at him. "Jasper, what..."

He dropped his head down and kissed me. He kissed me sweetly, once, twice, and then on the third his kiss became urgent. It deepened and suddenly he changed the nature of it, and it intensified my passion. My mouth opened submissively and he drew me upward and into him so tightly that had I needed to, I wouldn't have been able to breathe. I responded belatedly, but completely. My arms wrapped around his neck and I was pulling us together as much as he was. He leaned forward slightly and pulled me up into his arms. He carried me into the living room where we had a double settee that I enjoyed lounging on when the sun came through the window. He turned and sat on it, keeping me in his embrace while continuing to kiss me. He drew back from the kiss just long enough to set me gently down on the cushion beside him. Then he raised himself up so that he was positioned on his hands and knees over me. He used one hand to run down my cheek, down my throat, across my neckline, and then he began unbuttoning the bottons of my blouse. As he began to pull my blouse open, he leaned forward and felt the skin of my stomach with the tender skin of his lips. He ran them all across every part of my stomach, causing me to burn hotly with yearning.

I couldn't help the response my body had, my hips lifting to meet his. I couldn't have stopped myself if I'd wanted to. Jasper left off using his lips, and switched to using his tongue and as he alternated between running his tongue over sensitive spots, and kissing me, I began to lose control. Before I knew it, I had us both undressed. I was enjoying the feeling of the settee's leather cushion beneath our bare bodies. Jasper rolled over and lifted me above him. He pushed me up and back, pulling our lips apart in the process. I moaned a little at the loss of the feeling of his lips, but as he sheathed himself inside me entirely, in one quick motion, it made up for the loss of his lips, and made me gasp. We crashed our bodies together in an unmeasured urgency. There wasn't thought, consideration of what we were doing or any moment of loving kindness. We just exposed everything we had to our need for each other.

I increased my pace on top of him as the sounds Jasper was making spoke of nearing his end. He was pulling me down into him with frequency and little tenderness. The feeling was unfathomable. How could anything feel so indescribable. Suddenly Jasper flipped us over, human eyes would have seen the result, not the movement. As he settled into his rhythm, I moaned loudly at the pleasure of feeling him push himself deeply into me. It undid him, he slammed himself into me just a few more times before we both cried out as we reached release together. He fell against me and there was that feeling of electrical currents flowing between our bodies at every place they were connected. We lay there, our breathing the only sound in the room.

He rolled off of me, and onto his back beside me. He wiggled an arm under my neck and pulled me to his chest. He raised his other hand to my shoulder. "I know you love Edward, as I love Alice, but there's something between us. I'm glad that you've realized it now too."

After quite some time of talking I'd learned that Jasper had been thinking of me in this way for awhile already. He'd never imagined I'd recognize the feelings he'd already been feeling, so he kept quiet and never mentioned it.

The rest of the year had been spent together in a bonded, close way that hadn't existed before that wild day. We never spent a moment together without some part of us touching from then on. Love making continued, and was alternately passionate on some occasions, and lovingly sweet on others. As the months passed, the love I had for Jasper muddled the love I felt for Edward. Our time together blurred the lines between the status of our former relationships. I didn't know if Jasper felt the same about that as I did, and hesitated to talk to him about it. But as the time drew near, when we would return to Forks, I began to fear that when it came time to step away from this life with Jasper, I wouldn't want to. I loved Edward, no fiber of my soul had changed in regards to my feelings for him. Now though, that was complicated by the fact that I'd grown to love Jasper too.

Jasper and I were lying in the library again, as was our habit. I sat on the sofa, running my fingers through his hair, with my right hand, my left thrown casually across his shoulders. His head was in my lap, and he was reading Anna Karenina to me. Bright light filtered through the sheer curtain on the window, and the room glowed with the light of a beautiful summer's day. The world around us was all silent splendor and quiet pleasure.

The moment was shattered by the shrillness of the phone ringing. Jasper and I both froze, his voice caught in frightened gasp. Both our eyes were wide, and suddenly we were both up and down the hall. We only had the one phone between us. Mine.

Since it never rang, it took a moment for me to locate it in my purse in what had formerly been my room, something no longer observed now. The rooms of this house were all ours.

I finally found the phone, it was home. Carlisle was the only caller we had, now and then, so I exhaled in relief. Jasper too, exhaled - we'd both held our breath. Our eyes met as we both realized this, and we chuckled slightly. I put the phone to my ear. "Carlisle?" I said smiling, laughter still coloring my voice.

"Hello Bella." That velvet smooth voice. It wasn't Carlisle, it was Edward. My breath left me again, I couldn't speak. After a moment or two I finally managed to get my throat to work again, and in a choking and staggered way I answered him.

"E-Edward!" I gasped.

"I-I'm, we actually, we are ready for you two to...for this to...Bella, do you want to come home to me?" he finally managed.

I looked up at Jasper. There wasn't any judgement in his expression, just wonder.

I suppose my answer was yes. Because Jasper had taken the phone and spoken to Alice. The love and longing in his voice made it impossible to remain there with him. Alice and Jasper had always been so private in their love for each other. I knew it wouldn't change, but I couldn't help being surprised by the actual pain of hearing it proven. I left the house and ran, I ran until my head was clear and then circled back to the house. By the time I returned, Jasper had the car parked out front and was loading bags into it. I stood out front staring from the car to the open front door, and then to the line of bags beside the car. Jasper walked out then with two additional bags.

I looked up at him, and my traitor face gave me away again. He dropped the bags where he stood and was by my side in an instant. "Bella, please don't read my eagerness to return as a rejection of what I feel for you, and what we've had together. We both always knew it was going to be a temporary thing. I never imagined it was going to grow to the level it has. I don't think Alice saw it either, or she might not have shared it." His face looked mildly haunted as he said this, and I realized Jasper was feeling guilty. I didn't want him to feel that pain, as I knew his words were true, no matter how I felt about it. He was right, we were never going to be a permanent thing. Still, I was confused in my heart. As though reading my thoughts again, Jasper stepped forward, lifted his arms around my back and held me tightly against him. He said, "I'm not sure I can let you go now. I don't know what that will come to mean. This is so strange. It's different than any of the times I let Alice go with Edward before. I can't imagine how she's felt each time they..." he trailed off, and then pulling back to look at my face, he reached a palm up to my cheek. "I love Alice, she is my everything and she left me wanting for nothing, ever. Now I love you too, and it's added the most confusing dimension to life. I don't know what we'll do about that. You're part of my every day now. How do we leave that behind?"

I didn't have an answer for him then, and I still don't have one now. As we walked from the garage to the familiar house in Forks, I felt the guilt, and confusion. I didn't know what returning to life as it had been before would mean. Jasper's qualities, beauty and charms struck me in an indescribable way. My mind couldn't make a decision, it fluctuated and every time I felt like I'd come to a conclusion, another emotion would unravel the delicate weave of my thoughts.

The front door began to open, there was nothing but silence within, no one spoke. Before anyone stepped through the door, Jasper and I exchanged one last look, it was a look of fear. Our hands clasped a little more tightly, as Alice and Edward stepped out onto the front porch. Time hadn't changed how beautiful he was, I knew that would be the case. The love and adoration I'd always felt welled up in me and I held my breath. My memory never could do him justice. He was incredible.

Alice leaned against the porch beam as Edward stepped down the stairs and came to where we stood. He came up and stood by my side, taking my free hand. He and Jasper looked intently into each other's eyes. I assumed Edward was reading Jasper's mind, and Jasper was testing Edward's mood. I looked from face to face, of the two men my heart held dearly, then to my two hands held by them. I wondered to myself, '_whose am I?'_


	2. It Doesn't Pay To Make Predicitions

Chapter II  
It Doesn't Pay to Make Predictions

_"Even when you're feeling warm_

_The temperature could drop away_

_Like four seasons in one day"_

-Crowded House

* * *

_I was at the top of the stairs when I heard Alice's voice. "Edward, I have something I have to tell you. It's about Bella."_

_I could hear the fear in her voice, and felt certain Edward could as well. "What about Bella?" He asked, his voice colored with dark trepidation._

_"Let's go outside Edward, I think...you'll want to hear this privately." Alice said in hardly more than a whisper. Her voice was husky and concerned._

_"Alice, are you trying to drive me insane? I'm not one for managing my emotions well, and frankly, you're frightening me." I heard Edward's voice as they walked through the front door._

_I stepped down the rest of the stairs and watched my children speak through the window. Alice pulled Edward across the meadow of the front yard and only when they'd moved far enough away that the sound would be blocked, did she begin speaking. She spoke quickly, her brows furrowed, her hands wringing before her. Edward stood stiff and stoic. As I watched them Edward's posture slowly bent forward, but his head remained defiantly lifted, his hands curled into fists. Alice pressed on, and suddenly Edward's anger was recognizable in his entire posture. He reached a hand before him and swept it across his front, heatedly yelling at Alice who attempted to reach forward and place a hand on his arm, as she made her argument. Edward suddenly pointed up towards the house, in the approximate direction of Jasper and Alice's bedroom and I heard a shifting of footsteps and an oath from their room. I heard their bedroom door open and close and Jasper came down the steps behind me._

_He stepped beside me and we both watched Edward and Alice arguing out front. Abruptly at just that moment, Edward stepped right into Alice's face and screamed at her, this one sentence made it through the glass, "Damn it Alice, it hasn't ever been _me _that's been left behind. I REFUSE!" and he turned and fled. I turned to look at my son, allowing my expression to ask the question I wasn't certain I wanted to know the answer to._

_Jasper turned to me and then his head dropped in shame, "I'm sorry Dad. Alice had a vision. This one was about Bella, and me. It's always been Alice and Edward taking the strange turns. Edward's not very happy about this." _

_"Is there nothing we can do? Can we not deny Alice's vision, disallow it." I asked, somewhat hopelessly._

_"Not once a decision has been made." Jasper replied._

_"So Bella..." I began, but Jasper cut me off. _

_"No Dad, I've accepted it. I never disbelieve Alice. Someone has to tell Bella though. She's completely unaware of the history of this. Perhaps you?" Jasper asked, leaving the question hanging in the air between us._

_"Jasper! I can't speak to her about these things, she'd be mortified, and I can't deny I'd be extremely chagrined myself." I couldn't imagine having such a conversation with my newest daughter. Yes she'd been with our family for many years now, but her appreciation for things among us was still relatively new._

_"Dad, she trusts you implicitly, and she'll believe it immediately coming from you. She'll have no choice but to accept it." Jasper begged._

_"I'm not entirely certain I want her to accept it Jasper. I don't see what good can come from it." he said._

_"Well, the only good I've been able to find in it myself is that it'll finally allow Bella and I to have a chance to become closer. Beyond that, I'm as at a loss as you are. I guess I'll talk to her, and hope she doesn't slaughter me for making such a rash decision." He turned away and began walking back up the stairs as Alice finally turned and walked towards the house._

_"Alright son, I'll talk to her. I'm still mystified by what to say to her, but I'll do my best." I said._

---------------------------------------

"Alice please, I cannot possibly do this alone. She's going to feel so betrayed, I feel betrayed. I won't have the strength to make it through this without someone to draw strength from. I've had to leave her once before, and it nearly destroyed us both. I can't do this again. Only the fact that I know she won't be alone this time makes this possible. Please Alice, I'm begging you." Edward held my hands, trapping them and not allowing me to turn away.

I inwardly cursed my ability. Why should I be forced to have to put them through this. Essentially, I was singularly responsible for splitting my family up. I'd done it before, but it had always been agreed upon by everyone involved. This time it was against everyone's will. Well, no one wanted it to happen, but for Edward, it was by _his _will. He'd argued and refused until I'd said that in my vision, Bella had been blissfully happy. Bella's happiness haunted Edward's every consideration, and informed every decision he made. Since it was my fault, I didn't feel like I could refuse him. "Alright Edward, but she's going to resent my presence in such a private moment." I answered.

Edward's sighed in relief, "Thank you Alice." and he leaned forward and kissed my forehead.

I turned and ran for the house, I decided if I was going to go in with him, I should go in before him. "I'll go in first, then you come in and start packing. I'll try to keep Bella sidetracked as long as possible, but she will question you Edward. I have no doubt she will get very emotional. Judging by what Charlie said about when you left her last time, she will go to pieces. She's considerably older now though, so hopefully she'll somehow manage it."

Edward's shoulders sagged as we re-entered the house. No one was there except for Bella, so we knew that Carlisle had spoken with her already. Edward walked up the stairs like a man making his way to his own execution. The defeat in his posture was more awful than anything I could imagine. I stepped beside him and laid a hand on his arm gently, "It will end Edward. I told you, I only saw eight seasons. Bella was joyful during the last four. Only the ending is changeable. It's still too far way to be anything but shapeless images.

"Thank you Alice, I wish I could take comfort from your words, but honestly, I'm not sure which hurts worse, the first four months of Bella's lack of happiness, or the last four filled with joy." Edward looked somberly at me, his eyes tight in the corners, with the pain that shrouded his reason.

I ran upstairs, and found Bella in Edward's room, pacing. When I opened the door, she nearly exploded out of her skin until she realized it was me, then halted. "Where's Edward?" she asked frantically, trying to look past me.

"He's coming Bella, but you and I have a few things we need to go over first. Let's go into the next room and talk." I put my hand on her shoulder, but Bella shrugged out from under it.

"No, if he's going to be here, then so will I. We need to talk." Bella could be very stubborn when she wanted to be, and I could tell she was in a very stubborn mood.

"Fine Bella, but really, Edward doesn't want to be questioned, he just wants to pack, and go." I said, my concern for Edward making me sound a little more tense than was strictly necessary.

Bella stopped trying to see past me and looked me directly in the face then, "So he seriously believes that I'm just going to let him go without any questions about this...this...insanity?"

"Yes." I said simply, knowing that my answer wasn't something she was going to accept.

"Tough!" she blurted at me, "I'm going to ask questions, and I have a few things I've got to say to him, too. I'm long past 18, and I'm nowhere near as naive as I was the last time he....when...before." she ended weakly.

"I know that Bella, but try and remember what it cost him last time." I begged her.

"Cost _him_! What it cost _him_? It cost him nothing but a couple of days of discomfort from believing he'd caused me to kill myself! It cost him nothing Alice. It cost me everything, my innocence, my trust, my sanity....he lost nothing." She was down to a whisper by the end, though she'd begun with yelling. She was leaning forward now, clutching herself around the middle in a posture I'd been told of frequently by Charlie, even Jacob, but never witnessed firsthand.

Still, I had been on Edward's side of the events as they happened, I knew the truth about Edward's pain the day he said goodbye, and the subsequent guilt and torture he put himself through for every day following. The worst part had been his acceptance of responsibility. Yes, it had been a self-imposed sentence, and no one was to blame but him, but he assumed it was his debt owed to the fact that he was arrogant enough to try and make the relationship work. He spent every day at Bella's feet because he believed he didn't deserve her by any standard in existence. Knowing how he'd tortured himself then, and how he still continued to now, that he'd never have agreed to this if he didn't still secretly, deep down believe that he was unworthy of the gift of loving her, I got angry.

"Bella, I was there, I witnessed both your pain, and his. Don't you try to devalue what that time did to him. You may believe you know what effect it had on him, but I assure you that anything you've imagined doesn't compare to the reality of Edward's anguish and pain during that period of time. He believed he was getting what he deserved. All that he could hope to deserve every minute of your months apart and I will not stand here and listen to you knock that down in a tirade of pained selfishness." I yelled at her. Bella's face was horribly disfigured by the time I finished, and I felt somewhat sorry that the tears, which should have accompanied such an expression of grief, couldn't come. Seeing her horror at my anger I caved. I reached forward and pulled her to my shoulder, hugging her tightly.

"I'm sorry Bella, I shouldn't have yelled." As I said this, the bedroom door opened. Edward was looking at me thunderously, taking in Bella's choking sobs.

I glared back at him._ I know Edward, but you can't expect me to listen to her deluding herself and not set her straight! _I thought defensively.

He gave me a particularly pointed expression, shook his head and sighing, moved towards the closet.

Bella was lost in her uncontrolled crying, and as she struggled, Edward managed to pack everything he wanted.

He stopped as he finished, his face a mask of torture as he looked at Bella's back, which still convulsed as she tried to control herself. He lifted his head and sighed deeply, then headed towards the door.

Bella's voice spoke from the folds of my blouse, her voice muffled by the material and my shoulder. "Edward." she said softly.

He stopped, but didn't look at her.

"Yes Bella." he said, his shoulders tense.

"You left and broke your promise once before" her voice was still shaky and weak sounding, "if you do this again, I _will _hold you responsible. If you make this choice, I will have to make my own." she still kept her head buried in my shoulder.

Edward stood there, struggling. I couldn't see his face, but I knew that he was losing control of his carefully guarded emotions. I wanted to go to him, help him, but knew I couldn't step away from Bella when I was about to leave her behind every bit as much as Edward was.

"I realize that." he said stiffly, and he reached for the door. He pulled it open, stopped and spoke just once more. "I...it's not worth much, I-I know, in the face of this...situation," he stumbled through the words, "but I love you Isabella." and he stepped through the doorway, pulling the door closed behind him, but not before he heard Bella.

"I don't believe you." she said softly. He paused, barely, but I knew that pulling the door the rest of the way closed behind him was the hardest thing he'd ever done.

I had a vision just then, I saw Edward, in a flowered meadow, their meadow, bag thrown carelessly down and curled in a fetal position on the ground. Yes, it cost Edward a great deal, more than she would ever understand.

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Usually, when Edward and I had taken our flights of fancy, there was a certain level of intimacy. It wasn't anything like the connection I had with Jasper, but I loved Edward best of all my adopted siblings, and it brought out tenderness in me. Also, I couldn't help seeking ways to stop the constant battering of himself he did.

I'd left Bella and found Edward in their meadow just as I'd seen in my vision. I stood over him with my hands on my hips for awhile, considering the idea of forcing him to stand up. I'd driven his Volvo out to the end of the road, and left it, knowing Edward would never have the strength to leave the house if he had to return again. I debated just picking him up and carrying him to the car, but I decided he'd suffered enough indignity at my hand. Instead I laid down beside him and curled myself around him. I wrapped my arms around Edward and pulled him against me. We stayed there in that position until twilight. I dared to speak as the darkness came, "Edward, if we stay here, we may see Bella." I knew she'd come here, not because of visions, but because I knew Bella.

"I'd like to go to the Highlands." he said softly.

I shuddered slightly, remembering the house there. It was too big and too much out in the open. Privacy was afforded by the fact that it was an island, and storms more often than not swirled the shores around us. Still, it was a cold, unfeeling place and always had a dismal effect on me. I could see why it would appeal to Edward in his current state of mind.

"Anywhere Edward, wherever you choose. I'll stay with you, whether you want me along or not. I won't let you be alone."

We'd left then, really left. Carlisle had called many times and letting Edward know that Bella and Jasper had moved away, attempted to convince Edward to return to the house. I knew from my visions, though I didn't share this fact with him, that Bella refused to be in the Forks house without him. At the moment, I worried for Jasper, we'd agreed not to talk on the phone during this period, knowing it would only make those we were with suffer, but occasionally I'd receive a text from him. Usually just simple things, a few words, 'Bearing it sadly Alice. Love J.' once it was poetry of his, 'Weakness wanders cold, and distant warmth eludes. Strength softens in the absence of support. Can distant questions sustain hope?' My poor Jasper, Bella was tearing him to pieces. After six months of odd and scattered texts he sent me one which came on the heels of a vision and was worrying in what the outcome meant, as I saw it. 'I am the last face she ever wants to see again. I'm finished with this, I respect your visions, but this is beyond even my loyalty.' I'd quickly left the house, and texted him back to ask what had happened, but the incessant storms of the northwest coast of Scotland disrupted my service and left me frustrated with the vision of Bella alone in the house she'd shared with Jasper, broken and preparing to give in to any desire for human blood which might find her.

Soon afterwards thankfully, Jasper must have changed his mind, because I got a distorted vision of Bella reading to Jasper, her head in his lap. He absentmindedly ran his fingers through her hair, on a sunny afternoon inside. It was a peaceful scene and made me smile. It also gave me a pang of jealousy. For inside the cave like walls of the Island house, Edward brooded. There was no reading, no sunny afternoons spent sharing the warmth together. Edward played, constantly, and angrily. Never relieving himself or me with a melody of beauty. Instead he banged on the keys and punished them as he punished himself.

We did have times of solitude, and moderate peace. During these, Edward would stand before the fireplace which was lit only for the sake of the light, not that we needed that either. I preferred it to perpetual gloom though, and Edward did it for my sake.

A year in he began to pace, physically and mentally. His mind going back and forth, what would he do? How would he resolve this? What was Bella's choice going to be? I know Edward thought these things, because he spoke them aloud to me, often enough to become repetitive. After a year and a half he began to lose cohesion and couldn't ask questions any longer, he could only bemoan the state he found himself in.

"I'd rather die than live through this knowledge another day. I cannot go on without Bella, Alice, my life makes no sense without her. Why did I agree to this?" His voice was agonized, and grating.

I rolled my eyes from the cushioned bench I was reclined on. "First off Edward, you are dead. You've lived on for a year and a half so far, I think you can make it another six months, and..you agreed to it because I told you I saw Bella happy. You claimed that hers was more important to you than your own. Has that changed now?"

My words earned me solitude. Edward snorted loudly and disappeared. He didn't like when I threw his own words in his face on a normal day, during this time it robbed him of his usual level of dramatics.

At three months to go, he began to plan. I heard him reciting things he'd say to Bella when we returned. He kept up a continual litany of reassurances, promises and self-deprecation. I wanted to be annoyed with him, but I couldn't blame him. I kept quiet, but the visions I'd had of Jasper and Bella's time together worried me greatly. There was such happiness, and joy. My first visions before all this chaos hadn't come close to showing me just how beautiful their time together would be. I knew Jasper loved me, but I could see it in his eyes, his love was no longer mine alone. His heart was divided. His pain was clear too, he didn't like the situation. He'd stopped texting me some months ago, so I had no idea what he might be thinking beyond what I saw in the wispy and insubstantial visions I got of him.

With only two weeks to go, Edward finally lost his patience, he couldn't wait any longer. He made the travel arrangements and within two days, due to sudden decisions, delayed flights, and too many layovers, we arrived at SeaTac. It was the first time Jasper wasn't waiting for me, first in line before even Esme. I felt his absence greatly, and my breathing stopped as I wondered if this might foreshadow times to come.

Carlisle and Esme were a welcome sight, their embraces indicative of the length of time we'd been gone. When Edward turned to Emmett, who stood with Rosalie behind Carlisle and Esme, Emmett reached out with one arm, grabbed Edward's extended hand and dragged him into an Emmett-special bear hug. "Forks really blows without you around to pick on bro!" They clapped each other manfully on the back and stepped away from each other as I hugged Emmett and got a kiss on the cheek. Rosalie hugged Edward too, "I'm not sure I can be as eloquent as my husband Edward, but I think home will be home again much more now that you're back."

We all turned to head out of the airport, but Emmett reached out and grabbed my arm and held me back, "So Al, are Jasper and Bella, I mean, are they really...?" he lifted his eyebrows twice in a significant way, and grinned like a Cheshire cat before Rosalie hit him so hard he actually flipped once, landing on his feet. "I love you Emmett, but you are a perfect ass sometimes." she said.

Being back in Forks improved Edward's mood in some ways, but made him all the more unbearable in others. He stopped his monologues, but he withdrew now, often disappearing for hours at a time. I knew he was in his meadow again. But I left him to it. He'd had me as bad and irritable company for two years and I figured he deserved a break from me, as much as I was enjoying mine from him.

After a week and a half, Edward had waited as long as he was going to. He argued with Carlisle for an hour before Carlisle finally gave up and said it was his decision, Rosalie added that it was entirely in keeping with Edward's character that he would make a rash and bad decision. They glared at each other, each daring the other to confirm the other's opinion. Finally, Edward reached over to Carlisle's pocket, who turned and protested, and pulled out his cell phone. He pressed Bella's cell phone number. It rang, we could all hear it.

The line clicked, we could hear stifled chuckles, and Bella's voice rang out over the phone, sounding amused and almost, relieved, "Carlisle?" she said.

"Hello Bella." was all Edward said.

On the other end of the line it went completely silent. Even her breathing had stopped. "E-Edward!" she gasped out.

Edward's face underwent the most radical evolution of emotion I have ever seen in the entirety of my known existence. It was a riot of opposites and it took him a beat or two to get himself under enough control to inelegantly stutter out, "I-I'm, we actually, we are ready for you two to...for this to...Bella, do you want to come home to me?" His voice was stone by the end of it.

There was more silence on the other end, and my mind twisted around the ramifications of possibilities if Bella said no. Thankfully, she whispered, "I th-think s-so." then there was the sound of the phone being handled, and whispered sympathies on the other end, then I heard my Jasper's fierce voice, "Edward? Alice." his voice was thick with emotion, and mine was only barely controlled as I yanked the phone away from Edward who was standing stunned.

"Jasper. I have no words." I gasped out, trying to fight the urge to cry in happiness.

"Neither do I my little one, neither do I." he said.

I smiled as I thought back to that moment, the emotions that tied my tongue, and froze my mind for the minutes we remained on the phone. I stood looking out the front window, Carlisle had watched Edward and I speak through two years ago. Two years in vampire years was not much time relatively speaking, but it seemed like eternity stretched out between our spectres who stood arguing on the edge of the property then, and the reality of our presences here on the other side of the glass now. Bella and Jasper walked up slowly from the garage, a rented car behind them. Edward looked at me, and gave me a steely gaze.

"What if she chooses Jasper?" he asked me, almost begged. I couldn't speak, because I'd been thinking the same thing. Could my life go on without Jasper? I knew him well enough to know he'd never betray any promise he made.

Instead of answering, which I knew I couldn't do, I put and hand on his arm, "We'll deal with whatever comes Edward. I haven't had any visions, which means Bella hasn't been able to make a decision either. And without hers, Jasper won't make his. Let's go." I was so overwhelmed with emotion as we stepped out onto the porch, that I decided to hang back and let Jasper and Edward have their moment of confrontation.

Edward immediately, and unremarkably, walked right to Bella's side and took the hand Jasper wasn't holding. They stood face to face and used their abilities against each other, it was like a battle of will. Edward's will said, "I know your mind, and I see its plan." and Jasper's said, "And I know your heart, and what it can't handle."

As they sized each other up, Bella looked back and forth between them. She looked small, beautiful, nearly ethereal in her changed beauty, but small still. She looked deep into both of their faces.

Edward spoke first, responding to some thought Jasper had, "You can't know, and neither do I, but you don't have to worry about that any longer."

Jasper's eyebrows shot up in a defiant expression, "You'd like to feel that, wouldn't you." he said.

Bella frowned, still looking back and forth between them. Finally she stepped back, releasing their hands and they both looked at her in surprise.

"You two seem to think you're allowed to make this decision for me again, don't you? Well, guess what, I get to make my own choice this time, and until I do you two are going to have to wait." she said cuttingly. She then walked up on the porch, looked at me, an apology in her eyes, and then into the house.

I looked back at Jasper and Edward and they were both standing with expressions on their faces like someone had slapped them with a paddle.

I looked at them, turned around and headed for the door. I turned my head over my shoulder just before I walked through, "That went well, didn't it?" I snickered.


	3. Reasons To Be Missed

**_**A/N: I apologize for taking so long to get this chapter up. Somehow life always gets in the way when I want to do other things. I also apologize for this chapter being shorter, but the next chapter should be longer. Enjoy & comments are money in my inspiration bank. The more you deposit the more inspiration I expend. =)**_**

Chapter III  
Reasons to be Missed

_I'm strong on the surface_

_Not all the way through_

_I've never been perfect_

_But neither are you._

-Linkin Park, Leave Out All the Rest

* * *

_We'd been speaking for hours, and I still felt she wasn't asking the questions she really wanted to. She was hoping for promises I knew I would be unable to make to her. Even under better circumstances, every relationship you opened yourself to left you vulnerable to the possibility of pain, and I would not be a part of any delusion she might wish to entertain._

_"Bella, you know as well as I do that I can't answer that. Though I doubt seriously he can answer that question either, with any level of accuracy, if you were to speak to him, I'm sure he could at least ensure his intention. Even you can't hope beyond that with something so uncertain. Since Alice refuses to share anything she's seeing, everyone except her is at a disadvantage," I said to Bella, whose head was dropped down towards her lap. She sat on the opposite side of my desk from me, as she questioned me._

_"I understand Carlisle, and I'm sorry to press you about it, but I'm sure you can see why this whole situation troubles me. I suppose I do need to let them know what choice I've made," she said to me, a frown crossing her brows and reminding me of the first time I'd met her in the hospital. Whatever she believed she was going to pursue, I was certain of that one thing about my newest daughter, she was tenacious, unafraid, and just a touch stronger than she ever gave herself credit for._

_"Yes Bella," I agreed. "I believe that would be best. My son's are in a state of perpetual battle with each other, I would greatly prefer to see that end as soon as can be."_

_"What was it like when you first brought Esme home? Did it affect the relationship you'd developed with Edward?" she asked._

_I sighed deeply, looking away for a moment to gather strength before meeting her eyes, and the truth. I'd never really spoken of that time with any of my children, and Edward and I kept a mutual bond of silence between us about it. "It did, but it had to Bella. There are notable differences to any circumstance which surrounds us today, from those between Edward and I at that time. Your change was more or less by your own will. You embraced it, and desired it from the moment you and Edward fell in love, something I am eternally grateful for. It was not the same with Edward, he loathed what I had made him, and has never embraced it entirely to this day. He still struggles with it every moment, and at that time, though I know he struggled with it greatly, Edward resented me for turning him into the monster he'd become. I know ultimately he loved me, always in a mentor sort of way, but in his state of constant resentment and self-loathing, I'm sorry to admit he wasn't adequate company. I thought perhaps having a confidant, a friend would be the best companion. It's what induced my acceptance of the offer Elizabeth, Edward's mother, made of him. I had no intention of turning anyone else, concerned the response of any other I might again be as negative as Edward's response had been. My wife almost literally fell into my lap at the hospital I was working in during that time. She's very beautiful, and the passionate light I saw buried behind the pain in her eyes moved me to action when I realized the only other choice was to let the light in those eyes go out. I couldn't have forseen then that healing her broken body was the first half of fixing her, but that healing her broken heart would be the easier half. After Esme's change ended, she endured the usual difficulties inherent to this life. I brought her into the home Edward and I shared then, and Esme saw in him the son she'd lost, and in me, the love she'd left behind. Without truly intending to, I'd created my family. I drew them in for various reasons and by influence of other will's in some cases, but I don't consider any of them as less than 'family' in any way for all that."_

_I felt a strange ease in telling this to Bella, as though somewhat relieved to have shared it with another. I smiled, "I'm not sure if that story helps you in any part of your decisions, but if nothing else I hope it at least informs you that I love you every bit as much as the rest of the children and will support you regardless of what choices you make."_

_Bella smiled in a sweet way that at one time I'm sure would have been accompanied by a blush. I stood and walked around my desk and reaching for her hand drew her up from the chair and embraced her. "This will be whatever you make it Bella. There's no knowing what it will mean, but I feel certain whatever choice you make we'll manage."_

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Bella had been in Carlisle's study all day, and meanwhile, Edward and Jasper had been acting like a couple of territorial tabbies all day. Both of them had tried repeatedly to get me to divulge what my visions showed me, but I would not rob Bella of the opportunity to verbalize her own choice and display her strength. Too many choices had been taken out of her hands before, and I'd perpetuated some of them.

Edward and Jasper were having yet another clash in the meadow behind the house, Jasper's military skill always outweighed Edward's lack of training, but Edward's speed evened things out between them. I was sitting in the living room waiting for the telltale sound of the door of Carlisle' study opening upstairs. At precisely the moment I knew it would come, I heard the click of the door as Bella pulled it closed behind her. I stood and walked to the bottom of the stairs. When Bella reached the stairs, she looked down them at me. Her eyes held the same apology she'd conveyed to me that morning on the porch. I looked up at her,"Really Bella, I'm responsible for forcing you into this mess. You have nothing to apologize for. I honestly think I should be asking forgiveness from you," I said.

She began coming down the winding staircase, "No Alice, the only person who should apologize is Edward, and not because he owes me, but because he's truly recognized how wrong he is." She reached the bottom and tentatively stepped towards me with her arms out, as if she were unsure I'd hug her back. I reached forward and drew her into a deeply tight hug. Bella giggled, and made me giggle as well.

I stepped back and said, "I can't see that apology coming forth any time soon Bella. He's still too...I don't know, caught up in all the here and now, to recognize anything in the truths of yesterday or their influence on tomorrow," I said, frowning.

Bella smiled, "I know Alice. I wasn't expecting it. I just said that in my opinion he's the only one whom I'm looking for one from. Speaking of your seeing Alice, are you still keeping a strict silence from them?" she asked me.

"Yes Bella. I couldn't take that away from you. For once I want to see you voice your own decision without any of my family deciding it for you. And Bella, just to let you know, I will support you in your decision, and respect it."

She raised her arms in a helpless gesture and then let them fall back to her sides? "Thank you Alice," she said.

Just then a crash sounded from the back of the house, signaling the beginning of another Edward and Jasper battle. Bella looked at me, tipping her head towards the back door and raising an eyebrow.

I smiled, "Yes, that's them. They've been at it ever since you disappeared into the study with Carlisle."

She shook her head and walked in the direction of the rear door. "I'd like to see this if you don't mind, Bella." I said to her back.

She half-turned to me, and shined a radiant smile on me. "Of course not, Alice. Come on."

We stepped outside and found a blur. Edward and Jasper were moving and shifting around each other. Evenly matched as they were, it was a battle which would never end. Bella seemed to recognize this and cleared her throat audibly. Their movement immediately stopped. They both stood in crouches, which each quickly stood from. Edward looked at Bella with real and genuine fear in his expression. My heart went out to him, but knowing he'd placed himself in his predicament kept me from moving to his side.

Bella spoke then, "Edward, I realize that you truly love me in the only way you know how. In your own way, you were as new to love as I was when we met, no matter how many years you'd spent walking this world. I know it still affects you as only the first love can. Everything you have done, good or bad, has been done in the hopes of considering my wellbeing, health, and happiness. You've challenged enemies, fought friends and even battled your own internal nature for me and I honor you for all of this." Edward's tense stance relaxed while Bella spoke, and a smile which began small, spread warmly across his whole face as he walked a few timid steps in Bella's direction. She continued, "You've honored me with your love every day, but you seem to have forgotten one important thing Edward. Our entire relationship was based on my choice to stay by your side. You always said I had choices. Then after my 18th birthday you suddenly began taking my choice away. When it came to what was good for me, you suddenly ruled out what my opinion on that subject was. You began to disregard my feelings immediately, and even after we returned from Volterra, it stopped being about what I wanted. It was always 'This is what's best for you, Bella, trust me.' I warned you two years ago Edward that if you walked out of the door of our bedroom, that I would make a choice too." Bella contined while Edward stared at her with his jaw hanging slightly agape. "Well, you've come to that moment Edward, and you're going to have to live with the consequences of your actions that day, because I intend to stay with Jasper."

I'd already seen Bella and Jasper happy again, more sunshine days with one or the others head in the lap of the other. It was one thing to see this, and another thing to hear Bella's new, beautiful voice actually speak the words. I felt a sharp pain inside. My eyes shot to Jasper's, he continued to look at Bella for a moment, triumph and joy dancing in his eyes, but then the smile dropped away. He turned and looked at me, his face suddenly horrified. He took one step toward me as I felt his emotions roll out to meet me. It was a tight bundle of anguish, dismay, love, shock and worry. I looked at Jasper eye to eye for just a moment and then moved around him and walked up next to Edward, putting a hand on his shoulder. Jasper watched me pass by him and looked at me questioningly as I turned and looked back at him. I nodded to him slightly and then turned my attention back to Bella, who I found was watching me. I started when I realized it. "Alice, I won't force our presence on you, none of you need to leave, but I'm heading back to the house in Canada." She turned and faced Jasper, "Jasper, I won't force you, but I hope you'll return with me. I desperately want someone I know I'll be able to rely on, someone I can trust. Edward tells me he loves me, then leaves. You tried to leave, but then told me you love me. The past two years have been very difficult at times, but they ended up being the happiest months I've spent ever. I leave it to you," she said finally.

Jasper was looking her in the face again, and his face broke into a radiant smile. He moved to her side so quickly I nearly lost the movement. He took her hand again and said, "Of course I'll join you Bella," and he kissed her. It was at this moment that it became too much for Edward. He didn't say anything, he simply ran. I met Bella's eyes and she looked deeply into mine. "Please tell him when you catch up to him that we'll stay away for another two years, and that if he has the strength to return at that time, I will make my choice again. Let him know though that he will still have only a 50/50 chance. Also," she glanced at Jasper for a moment, pulling her hand out she rested her palm on his cheek as he looked at her, "that he has this one night, if he chooses, to spend time with me, as you and Jasper have together. Then we will again go our separate ways." I nodded quickly and ran after Edward.

It wasn't difficult to find him. He'd only run far enough to get away from all of our internal voices. I walked up to him as I stepped out of the trees. "Alice, I'd like to be alone, if you wouldn't mind."

"Of course," I said, "but I do have a message for you from Bella. She wants me to tell you that she wants this to be another two year period she spends with Jasper, at the end of which, if you have the strength to come back, that she'll again make a choice." Edward's shoulders slumped noticeably, but his posture brightened when I added, "Also...for tonight only if you choose to, you can spend the night with Bella, and Jasper and I will spend an evening together." He looked quickly up at me, hope smoldering in his eyes. "Tonight?" he asked. "Yes," I answered.

And again, he was gone.

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**(Bella's POV)**

I walked out of the library and into the front room, lying myself down on the settee. I lay in the sunlight streaming in the window and laid the book on the cushion by my side. I closed my eyes and let the sun shine through the prism of my eyelids. I suddenly began to envision things, I could see Edward's eyes looking at me in the middle of a dark night, his warm-golden eyes glowing against the dark bedspread on his his bed. His pale hand reaching out to cup my face, and his lips coming closer to mine in the darkened room. I opened my eyes as I heard the front door open. I heard Jasper's voice then, "Bella?" His voice was tense. I knew that meant he'd spoken to Alice. This separation had been difficult for him. He had no idea that I'd already decided to return to the house in Forks and call this whole thing off.

Jasper was truly the best soul ever to have walked this earth. He was open, loving and beautiful, and I loved him for all that and much, much more. As I'd spent one night with Edward, a night which kept replaying instances of itself through my mind, he'd spent one night with Alice. When we'd left the next morning, not one face among us looked happy. The last time, when Edward had left to escape the knowledge of what lay ahead of us all, there had been anger, astonishment, sadness and incomprehension on the faces of everyone as we left. This time, as Jasper and I loaded the car, said our goodbyes, and drove away, every face held absolute anguish. I wanted to end it then, eliminate the facade I was trying to keep up, but I knew I'd have to make it through some of the time if I was ever going to have any level of recognition by Edward, and even to some extent, Alice. She understood of course, much better than Edward did. A part of me had still wanted her to be aware of what her visions could affect and to what degree. Not punishment, just a bit like bringing a criminal in to see what the cost of his crimes did to his own family, kind of thing, really.

As before though, I missed Edward, and Jasper was desperately missing Alice. They were the victims. I knew Jasper would stand by my side as long as I needed him to. He loved me that much, and loved that much in general. But he belonged with her.

The first month after we'd arrived, we'd fallen easily into the same happy enjoyment of each others company as before, reading to each other, then there would be "moments". We'd be lying somewhere in the house together, there would be a meeting of eyes, followed by tender kisses. Jasper would lean into me and I'd revel in the pleasure of his body against mine. Jasper would undress me casually as he dropped his clothes in a lazy way, then he'd play me like an instrument, his lips pressing themselves into all the right notes, never going off key once. He'd move his mouth across and then down my stomach until he'd kissed and dragged his tongue across all the sensitive parts to the most painfully sensitive spot of all. His lips and tongue would glide across me, and into me while his fingers mastered my bodies every movement. He'd bring me into a passionate craze with his mouth, only then lifting himself until his completely bare body would gently lean against mine as he'd slide himself in with desperately slow patience. I'd find myself lifting my hips against Jasper and begging him to fill me. He would do as I asked and his lips would bring out cries from mine. He'd lean into my neck, brushing his lips against it and say, "Loving you comes easy Bella. I'm your prisoner when I feel you this way, I want to imprison you too, I love the feeling, when we break free together." Then he'd force himself as deeply into me as he could go, and begin the constant battering only he knew how to do. Our bodies would crash against each other until I cried out with him. Free again.

Jasper called again, "Bella?" his tone a little more insistent because I hadn't answered after his first call. "Did you find anything you liked?" I said softly. He came through the door of the room a moment later. "There you are," he said, sounding relieved. "I always...I'm just, wait, what did you ask?" he said, really looking at me.

I laughed at his inattention, "I asked if you found anything you liked."

"Oh," he said, with a look in his eyes I couldn't place. It was gone before I could really pay it much attention. "No. Not really." He turned away and began setting the things he'd carried into town, down. He'd made a trip to a bookstore in Ottawa.

He turned back to me and faced me again. "You feel...melancholy, is everything alright?" he asked. I saw that look cross his eyes again, fleetingly. I still couldn't actually decide what that look was.

"Yes, I was just missing the family," I said, thinking of one member specifically. "Have you heard from anyone?"

After the last phone call from Edward, I had sworn I wouldn't answer my phone anymore, so Jasper had brought his own. He'd been looking me straight in the face, but as he answered he turned away and said, "Here and there. Not much." His movements, normally so strong and sure, seemed out of sync and awkward.

"Jasper, I don't have to be an empath to see that you're obviously lying. Is everything alright with _you_?" I asked. He stopped and stood straight, stretching to his true height, and turned back around to look me in the eyes again. I expected him to admit to talking to Alice, I thought perhaps he might even have been in contact with Edward, or possibly Carlisle. Maybe even both. I guessed we might end the night talking about our travel plans, even what to do about this house. Jasper had decided he liked it enough to buy it two weeks back. Another Cullen home, though it was likely the least imposing of them all. I did not expect the answer he gave me though.

"I just spent a couple of hours on the phone with Alice, to be honest. I had to tell her that I thought it was time we faced the truth of this situation and said our final goodbye to each other."

I sat bolt upright on the settee Jasper and I had spent so many happy hours on, "You said WHAT?!"

I struggled to get control of myself. The fact that I was a vampire seemed to have no effect whatsoever on my ability to feel like I was hyperventillating. Jasper bounded over the table between us and knelt at my side. "Bella, what is it? Was I wrong? You made your choice, I made my committment, I thought letting Alice go was what the right thing to do. Bella...please, say something."

I curled forward, ducked my head against the soft cushion, crawled off the side of the seat and stood up getting control of my breathing again. I didn't need the oxygen, but I certainly did want the air. I walked to the picture window in the living room and turned back to Jasper. "I'm sorry Jasper," I began. "Of course you felt you needed to resolve things between you and Alice, I was just shocked to hear you did it so soon," I said.

Jasper had watched me walk away from him, and still hadn't moved out of his kneeling position by the seat. He stood then and walked towards me, he took my hands and held them against his chest. "I didn't see any reason to wait. I know I love you, you've chosen to stay with me, so I began making the necessary changes. First I bought this house for us, and then I spoke with Carlisle about our finances and arranged for a separate account for our use should we need it. I have to admit I was very concerned about how saying goodbye to Alice was going to be, because I do love her so very much, but she made it easy for me. She said she'd already seen my future, knew it was happy and that she could see I was where I belonged." He leaned forward and kissed my forehead, releasing my hands and reaching around my back, drew me in against him. "I couldn't disagree with her Bella. I love you, and I told you, I'm here for you and you can trust in me to never leave you."

I wouldn't make Jasper suffer after he'd given me such significant consideration. He said goodbye to Alice, he'd let her go so he could hold on to me. How could I betray that? I had made my choice, and made it clear to everyone. I'd chosen Jasper over Edward. It was a decision I was going to have to make a point of honoring. It wasn't terribly difficult, Jasper is a man who is easy to love and hard to resist.

"I know I can trust you Jasper, it was the main reason I chose you over Edward, but if this is going to work, we have to be honest with each other," I said, knowing it was just a bridge to confession.

"I agree, I wouldn't be with you under any other terms Bella. I have to give Edward credit though, he recognized the good in you. He wanted so badly to be a better man for you, to just be a man for you. The problem was that Edward gave up before he began because he had no hope that he could overcome his nature. I wanted to honor the woman you are by being a better man myself, since the moment I first met you Bella. Long before any of these conflicted feelings and emotions began. I love Alice, in a way that will always make her a part of me. However, my committment is now to you."

I frowned, knowing I was going to have to say something similar, but by no means with the same confidence as the end of his statement. "I do still find myself thinking of Edward often, and...if I'm honest with myself, which I seldom am - I think I'm still in love with him. I can't deny that it is something outside of the love I feel for you Jasper, and the intimacy we grew to so slowly over the last year has changed me. I will commit to this relationship with you Jasper, until two years have passed."

And so the contentedness stole over our cottage. We enjoyed every moment of the long afternoons spent luxuriating in our companionship, deeper friendship, and love. Things remained settled and peaceful, until that night. That night when the front door opened, and Edward stood before me and Jasper in a towering rage.


	4. Decisions

_****A/N: I'm so very sorry to everyone for taking so long to get this chapter up. My Beta and I have been having conflicting Holiday schedule issues. I will try to get the next one up just after Christmas, so Happy Holidays to all of you, may your days be merry and unfrozen!****_

**Chapter IV**

Decisions

_Once I had the rarest rose_

_That everyday did bloom_

_Cruel winter chilled the blood_

_And stole my flower too soon_

-Annie Lennox, Love Song for a Vampire

_At some point this whole charade was going to have to stop. Bella had made her choice for the time being, but her answers weren't the answers to the questions plaguing her. For that she needed a long, mutually honest and drawn out conversation with Edward, and my son was not going to make that a pleasant conversation. I spoke slowly to the account agent, tying up the details for Jasper. Plans were being put into place which would effect everyone, and it was out of my control to say whether they would turn out alright, or if it would turn into something none of the family expected. I felt uncomfortable with the changes taking place, and didn't believe anything we could do would end the confusion my newest daughter felt._

_"Yes, there's no need to draw the loan out, we can pay up front immediately. You only need to provide me with the account I need to wire transfer the funds to," I said to the uncomprehending agent on the other end of the line._

_"I'm very sorry, but I am in a hurry to complete this before my family returns. Certain members are unaware of this transaction and I'd like to keep it that way." I sighed slightly, as he asked me if I wanted the documents mailed to the Forks address, or the one in Ottawa. "Ottawa please," I responded._

_I felt Jasper had made hasty decisions without consulting Bella, and that it would only end badly if he didn't remedy the situation immediately. He'd agreed that he would speak to her soon, and tell her everything. "It would be the wisest choice, Jasper. Bella's proven she dislikes it greatly when people remove the options of choice for her. You've already purchased the house, but if you let her know, she might still be understanding. Later, she will only be infuriated by it, and you must tell her about the finances, lay it all out for her, son, don't make Edward's mistakes. He made the mistake of discounting her opinion, whenever he felt it undermined her best interest. That's not the way Bella prefers things to be though," I said, Jasper thanked me and we'd hung up._

_I turned in my chair, and for once in my long and estimable life, I froze. Edward was standing just inside the window of my study, and it was easy to judge by the expression on his face, he'd heard a great deal of what I'd just been saying on the phone._

_I looked down and inhaled deeply as I sat up straight and looked my son in the eyes. _

_"A house? And a bank account? Has Jasper spoken to Alice too, did she know before me or was this something they thought they'd tell us together?!" Edward yelled, and in response I answered him out loud rather than just allowing him the ease of reading my mind._

_"Don't jump to conclusions, Edward, you always do and you end up worse off than if you'd just accepted the consequences in the first place," I replied._

_Edward's face struggled with conflicting emotions, his reason was battling with his injured pride. He took a long time looking off out the window, finally he turned back to me. His eyes were resolved. He said nothing, he just turned and jumped through the window he'd come in through. _

_I picked up the phone and called Jasper, but received no answer, so I left a message for him. Hearing them returning to the house, I then called out softly to my children and my wife. It took them only a moment to respond. _

_As the door opened, I saw Alice's face first. She looked troubled, and her expression was mimicked by Emmett and Rosalie. I knew without a doubt, this was going to be a difficult situation for my family. I sighed, thinking how unfortunate it was that difficult situations weren't a rarer circumstance for us._

* * *

(Bella's POV)

Edward stood in the doorway, his body heaved with the exaggerated breaths he sucked in. None of us needed those breaths, but the habits of living carried on into this existence, and when passion, anger, or intense emotion affected us, our breathing was staggered, hitched and increased correspondingly in this state as in life. His face was a picture of anger and his eyes were sharply focused on me. Jasper walked towards him first and Edward held up a hand, "Jasper, don't. You need to let me speak to my _wife_." He emphasized the last word in a twisted and mocking tone that made me instantly defensive.

I stood up and walked towards him. He was trying to be intimidating but I wasn't going to allow it this time. I glanced at Jasper and hoped I conveyed that I was fine and was pleading for him to allow this.

"Fine, Edward, I'm here, speak to me," I said as I reached the door. I stepped forward and stood only a step before him.

Edward closed the slight gap between us and leaned his face down into mine. He opened his mouth and the normal melodramatic ranting I expected was replaced by anger of such volume that I took three steps back in surprise, "HOW COULD YOU?!" he screamed in my face. On my last step I bumped into Jasper, as he'd moved forward immediately in response to Edward's tone to stand defensively by me.

My eyes were wide with shock, "H-How could I what, Edward?" I stuttered, still surprised.

His voice softened slightly, although he was still using a snarling and insinuating tone, "You made such a show in Forks of making this about a choice. 'Two years' you claimed, you gave me hope. You made me believe I still had a fair chance to repair the damage done. While all the time you never intended to see the two years through! Why not cut me loose then? WHY LEAVE ME TO BE DEFEATED BY YOUR DECISION AND MY OWN EGO?! Why Bella?! Why did you keep up the appearance of fairness when you'd already made your choice and ELIMINATED ME early in this _game_?" Edward pronounced 'game' much as he'd said 'wife' only a moment ago. He spit it out, like a hurled dagger.

I hadn't made any decisions, and I was horrified by his accusations, but rather than feeling hurt and defensive, I did something I don't think any of us expected. I got mad, furiously mad. Why was it forever and always about him and what someone's done to _him_? What about all the things he'd done to me?

"I don't know what's made you believe that I've 'eliminated' you, but I'm even more mystified by the fact that you think this is a game to me Edward. THIS ISN'T A GAME! THIS HAS BEEN ABOUT MY LIFE, MY HEART AND THE NATURE OF MY LOVE FOR ALL ETERNITY. You have held my love in the lowest value, disregarding it and leaving it as something that didn't have much consequence in the larger scheme of things, but it's important to me. I want to be sure of my decision. I want to know that the one I choose will love and remember that. YOU DON'T SEEM TO BE ABLE TO RECOGNIZE ANYTHING BEYOND YOUR OWN HURT PRIDE! I HADN'T MADE MY CHOICE, BUT I HAVE NOW, EDWARD. GET OUT! LEAVE US TO OUR HAPPINESS AND FIND SOMEONE ELSE TO TORTURE WITH YOUR INCESSANT SELF-CENTEREDNESS!" I reached out and pushed him as hard as I could, sending him flying into the night and slammed the front door.

I stood there breathing much the same way Edward had when he'd been standing in the door just a few moments ago. After a moment or two I couldn't stand any longer. I sank to the floor - it wasn't any physical weakness, it was the pain that incapacitated me. I almost wished I could faint, seek comfort in the oblivian of unconsciousness, but I'd never have that luxury, nor would I ever again be able to allow the tears to flow that made empty threats to my eyes at that moment. I felt Jasper sit beside me and pull me into him. He sat on the floor with me and held me, his chin resting slightly on the top of my head and his arms binding me together as my body threatened to fall to pieces.

The gaping hole Edward had created when he'd left me at 18, and which had been long since healed, or so I thought, gaped open once again. How did this happen? What had brought him here? The anger was gone as quickly as it had come, now I was left with the hole and the ache again. Curse him for always being able to do this to me.

I felt a white and blinding fear steal over me, what had I done? I'd just ended everything I'd wanted. I'd only chosen eternity to be with him. I had just thrown him away. I needed to stop him, I tried to stand. I pushed myself up and Jasper let me, but didn't release my hand. He held it waiting, I turned and looked at him.

"He ran, he left as soon as he hit the ground Bella. You won't be able to catch him now." Jasper's eyes looked very sad as he stood, and released my hand. "You can go Bella, I won't stop you of course, but Edward won't stop running for a long time. He..." Jasper's eyes dropped and he turned away.

"Wait, Jasper, what is it?" I asked his back as he walked toward the hall. He stopped walking for a moment, lifting his head and tilting his head in my direction without actually looking at me, he answered, "Edward ran like that after he left you in Forks, Bella. He'll run for ages, he'll try to escape the memory of you, until he realizes he can't. When he realizes that, he'll stop. That time, that moment, would be the worst moment to find him." Jasper turned and looked me in the face, his face unreadable, but the pain in his eyes unable to be hidden. "He wouldn't want you to see him then. No man of any kind wants to be seen when he's in the place Edward will be then. That place is called hopeless, and it's a self-imposed prison Edward wouldn't want you to visit him at." Jasper turned then and walked away towards the bedrooms.

I stood there for I don't know how long before I heard Jasper's sudden gripes and oaths. Something in Jasper's tone got my attention and I followed the sound to the library. Jasper was standing there with his phone to his ear. He looked up at me as I walked in, his jaw was tight and his brow deeply furrowed. Now that I was in the room with him, I could clearly make out Carlisle's voice on the line, but since I'd come in on his message already in progress I couldn't make out what he was saying exactly. "-I'm fairly certain he believes absolutely that there was a decision made and that he's coming there to confront Bella about it. We're on our way, this isn't like last time, but he's going to be similarly devastated. Please explain that the plans were your own decisions Jasper, if he believes Bella had anything to do with this, I'm afraid he will respond rashly. We're on our way, we'll be there soon. Alice will help us find him." Jasper closed the phone and dialed Carlisle.

"Hello?" Carlisle's voice sounded tense.

"Carlisle, I just got your message, but not until _after _Edward visited. He's already been here and left again,"

"What happened?"

"Well, he screamed at her and backed her into a verbal corner and when Bella got defensive, she got angry. I'm sorry to say that he got what he asked for, but it ended with Bella throwing him out bodily and telling him to go away. He left in the same state he did from Forks after...." Jasper paused, "after Bella's 18th birthday party."

I could hear Carlisle sigh deeply through the phone. "Well, we're almost there. We'll talk when we arrive."

"Okay, I'm going to let Bella know the details-"

"Don't let her blame herself Jasper, I'm fairly sure she'll feel she's at fault, but she has no control over Edward's propensity to deceive himself, which he's stunningly good at."

"I won't, we'll see you when you get here," he said. Jasper hung the phone up then and looked at me.

"He heard Carlisle talking to the agent about the house, and read his mind and learned about the account I'd set up for us. Edward believed Carlisle was making these changes because you'd made your decision. He didn't realize that they were all my own doing, and that Carlisle was merely assisting me on that count. Carlisle called to warn us about Edward's misconception, but I didn't receive it until just now." Jasper cursed again, mildly.

As soon as Jasper had explained, my hand had involuntarily covered my mouth. "Oh Jasper, this is really bad, isn't it?"

"I'm afraid so love." He must have seen something in my expression because he went on, in a reassuring tone. "Bella, don't trouble yourself. He'll be fine as soon as he understands what's happened."

"I wish I could believe that Jasper, I really do," I said, followed by a sigh.

"Bella, there's something I want to ask you, and I'm hoping you can give me a fairly certain answer." Jasper looked troubled and upset, and I wanted to do anything to get that look off his face. I'd already upset one man I loved tonight, I refused to be the cause of upsetting another. I walked to Jasper and put a hand on his cheek, which he leaned in to.

"We're going to do our best to find Edward, we'll explain this...situation to him, and hopefully he'll understand and we will all be fine. I want to know if, at that point, you will be returning here to the cottage with me, or if you'll choose to remain with Edward instead?" As Jasper said this, I could see in his eyes how much it hurt him to ask.

"Jasper, I committed to two years time with you. These circumstances, while regrettable and unfortunate, don't change my opinion of that committment, nor my resolution to it. I will return here to Ottawa with you, once Edward is safe."

Jasper smiled and pulled me into a tight hug. He held me tight to him, and kissed the top of my head. "I love you Bella, I dont know how you feel about me, but I know without a doubt, I love you.

I held him tight. "You know that I love you too, right Jasper?"

He pulled his head back, and looked me in the eye. "I do, hearing it makes me feel alive though."

"Can we sit for awhile, together, until they get here?" I asked.

"Of course, that sounds like a good idea."

We sat together in our favorite spot, embracing. I was missing the sunshine that normally warmed us as we sat here, but felt content with the warmth of the love Jasper gave me. We remained there until we heard the sounds of tires crunching slowly on the gravel driveway out front.

* * *

Carlisle, Esme and Alice arrived first. They came in the door a few minutes before Emmett and Rosalie, both of whom walked in with a very stern look on their face.

As they came in I looked at all their faces. I felt guilt beginning to overwhelm me and my shoulders hunched with the weight. They sat looking at Jasper and me. I could see in their eyes that there was no accusation, and yet I felt entirely at fault.

"I'm so sorry, I didn't mean for this to become so complicated."

"There's no reason for you to blame yourself for this, Bella. We are all very much aware that Edward doesn't react to normal circumstances the way anyone else would--"

"The way any _guy _would," Emmett interrupted Carlisle in a scathing tone. His words and tone earned Emmett a softly dark look from his father, which quieted him more effectively than words would have.

Carlisle looked at Jasper, "Jasper, what was Edward's state when he left here?"

Jasper looked at me and his eyes conveyed some sort of apology, "It was the same." Jasper looked away from me and directly into Esme's eyes surprising me. "He was in exactly the same state as he was after Bella's birthday."

Alice, Emmett, and Rosalie all moaned audibly, Esme dropped her face into her hands and Carlisle ran first one hand through his hair, then the other. He left his hand on the back of his neck for a moment, keeping his head down as he seemed to assess the carpet. He then rubbed his hand up and down across the back of his neck, and sighing deeply dragged it forward over his shoulder. It was the most vivid display of emotion I'd ever seen Carlisle make and I found it more alarming than the moans and varied reactions of everyone else's.

"What? What is it? What is so significant about my birthday, what does it mean for his current state of mind?" I begged anyone in the room to please explain it to me. I should have known who'd answer me.

"Bella, sometimes you're so dense. It means Edward's suicidal! It means he's given up. It means, you fool, that Edward doesn't believe there's a chance in hell that this existence can offer him anything to make continuing to be a part of it worthwhile!" she snarled at me.

As always I was completely cowed by Rosalie's bitterness. She was my sister now, but she'd never been the sister to me that Alice was.

"I don't think insulting Bella is going to help anyone right now Rosalie, perhaps you should find a more useful way to convey your meaning _before _you speak for the time being," Carlisle said in my defense. I'd never stopped being touched by his kindness. He looked at Alice then, "Do we have any idea what his plans might be?"

Alice's eyes closed slightly and then opened slowly, "No. He hasn't made any real decisions yet. I'm not even getting a fixed destination. I wish he'd make some sort of decision, I hate these random flashing images. It hurts my head when things aren't clear." She unconsciously rubbed her temples as she dropped her eyes to the floor.

My family milled about the cottage for the next four days. Alice couldn't get a fix on anything, Occasionally she'd stop and blurt out something of an image she'd received, but would almost immediately recant saying he'd changed his mind again. "I'm going to make him pay for doing this to me. He _knows _I'm watching him," she said at one point.

I was reading on our favorite seat, with Alice sitting at my feet, and Rosalie on the sofa with Emmett. She was reading a magazine, and every few minutes Emmett would poke a finger at the corner of Rose's magazine. Each time, Rosalie would pull the magazine slightly away, and fix Emmett with a look of lethal warning to which Emmett would look frankly innocent. I was watching this exchange out of the corner of my eye and was trying to remember the fact that things were very serious right now, that we had no idea what sort of trouble Edward might be getting himself into. While remembering these things, I was also trying very hard not to be amused by Emmett's antagonistic behavior, as well as marvelling at Rosalie's ability to take it in stride.

Emmett's finger slowly began to move forward in the direction of Rosalie's magazine. "EMMETT!" she cautioned sternly.

Emmett pulled his innocent angel face again as he replied, "What?"

"I will rip that arm off and hide it from you, and not even Alice will be able to find it using her abilities." I was saved from the chagrin of being the first to laugh out loud by Alice suddenly snorting from her corner. Carlisle and Esme walked in at that moment, and even Carlisle had the ghost of a smirk on his lips. Esme came in after him and making her way to the side of the sofa, next to Emmett's side, Esme gave Emmett a raised eyebrow and nothing else. Emmett dropped his head, and sighed deeply. "Where the hell is Edward? I need someone on my side, and Jasper's holed up in his library, so he's useless."

Alice suddenly gasped from the corner of the room. I jumped up to her side immediately, "Is it Edward, Alice?" I asked her.

It took a few moments, but when she focused again, she was looking into my face, "Yes. He's decided, he's gone back to the house in Forks."

Finally, we knew where we had to go.

I turned toward the door as Jasper walked through it. His right arm hung with a book clasped in his hand at the top of it, one finger marking his page. "When do we leave?"

Carlisle turned to him, "The sooner the better son, for everyone concerned I think," he responded.

Jasper nodded, and Carlisle pulled out his cell phone.

"Yes, I would like the number for Macdonald-Cartier International please," he said, as he looked at me.

_What was I going to say to Edward? I don't think I'm sorry is going to be quite enough this time, _I thought_._

_****[Author's Footnote: Please, review and tell me who **_**YOU**_** think Bella should choose? I'm not saying it will affect my decision, but I'm just truly curious.]****_


	5. Learning

_****A/N: This chapter has been a long time coming (you've waited since last year, I know. *wink*). My apologies to my readers for making you wait. Between conflicting holiday schedules for me and my beta, sudden surprises, etc, it just seemed to take a back seat. I'm working on the next chapter, as I post this. Also, thank you to all of you who reviewed with their opinions of who Bella should end up with. It was informative, eye-opening, and at times, hilarious.****_

_**Chapter V**_

Learning

_I don't know what I've done_

_Or if I like what I've begun_

_But something told me to run_

_And honey, you know me, it's all or none_

_There were sounds in my head_

_Little voices whispering_

_That I should go, and this should end_

_Oh, and I found myself listening_

-Missy Higgins, Where I stood

_The flight to Sea-Tac was slower than I could ever remember it having been before. It gave me too much time to dwell on random thoughts. At the moment I was thinking of my son. When I changed Edward, I didn't give due consideration to how much worry each of my children and loved ones would cause me. I was reasonable, sensible, able to exercise good judgment over every aspect of the profession I had chosen. When it came to my family, I was still sensible, but I was rarely reasonable and good judgment seemed to be much harder to manage._

_I sat with my chin resting in the cradle created by my thumb and forefinger on my right hand. My wife sat directly on my left. To my right, on the other side of the aisle was my daughter, Jasper was sitting with her holding her hand._

_Both of their expressions were grim, and I knew that things weren't destined to become any more pleasant. For Bella, as well as for Alice, who sat on Jasper's other side, they were on yet another crusade to keep my first son from removing himself from our family picture. For the rest of us, it was a chance to do something which might stop it, instead of just waiting this time._

_I looked to my right to the row of seats just behind Jasper, Bella, and Alice, where Rosalie and Emmett sat. Each of them sat quietly, staring unblinkingly to the silhouettes of their siblings in front of them. Even Emmett, our families resident joker recognized the gravity of the situation. For him, this was monumental, overcoming his natural optimism to observe restraint as he was, amazed me. _

_My thoughts returned again to my first son. I imagine a human parent looks at their children and wonders if they made the right choices when one of them shows signs of confusing behavior. I of course, was not the same sort of parent, my children had not learned the lessons of life from me, and the lessons of vampiric life were vastly different. Still, I wondered if I could have done something for Edward to keep him from the extremes of blame he seemed to always succumb to. I felt I hadn't taught him enough about grey. Black and white he knew well, they were the divisions he measured his world by, but he couldn't make heads or tails of the averages between them, the grey space. The area I preferred to place my judgments in until I found something which would sway the balance._

_Perhaps if Edward had learned from me that there were many grey areas in life, he might not have been so inclined to always choose the desperate act. I looked at Bella, who was now looking into her own lap. Her face was pained, and I knew, she was thinking of the same person I was. She felt my eyes on her and turned her head to look at me. When our eyes met, something in her face softened_

_."I'm sorry to be the one to put you through this again," she said softly._

_I shook my head and extended my hand, she reached hers out and took mine. "Bella, you are nearly as tireless in blaming yourself as Edward is. Whatever purpose Edward's melodrama lends itself to has no bearing upon our opinion of you. You must remember that you asked each of us whether we wanted you to be a part of this family. I know I speak for myself, and Esme," as I said her name, she leaned forward and placed her hand gently on my arm, and looked very compassionately at Bella, "when I say that we wanted this. You are our daughter, by choice. There are no negative repercussions for that decision. We regret nothing; not the time spent away from Forks, not the battle with the Volturi, not the tensions between our family and the pack. We regret least of all your decision to become a part of this family and the incredible addition you've made to it. I can't say that anything which happened after your and Edward's wedding was what we'd expected." Bella smiled weakly, and I continued. "Still, I can't imagine it ever works out precisely as planned for any human families either."_

_"I understand what you're saying Carlisle, but it seems like I am always the catalyst for upheaval in this family, and I don't see how you can avoid resenting me to some extent for bringing trouble to your doorstep again and again._

_I laughed quietly and smiled openly at Bella, "My dear, Edward told me soon after he met you that he was fairly certain that trouble simply follows you around. You don't bring anything to our doorstep, you can't blame yourself for that anymore than you can blame yourself for the wind that stirs in your wake. Now lay your thoughts to rest on that count. You need to consider what you're going to say to Edward, because if he is in a state anywhere near the one he was in last time, I'm relatively certain he won't listen to anyone else but you."_

_The plane hitched and tilted forward at that moment and I realized we must be nearing Seattle, Bella realized this at the same time and her eyes widened at the motion of the plane. Her white face seemed to pale further, and her brows creased with deepening worry._

_"Carlisle, what can I say? I said terrible things to him in Ottawa, I said I'd made my choice and that I wanted him to leave us to our happiness. I said he needed to find someone _else_." Her voice cracked slightly on the last word, and I saw Jasper's hand curl around hers a little more tightly._

_"I can't answer that for you Bella, but I'm sure that anything you have to say to him will be a welcome reprieve from the mindless banter he's keeping up with himself at the moment." I might not have my sons powers and abilities, but it didn't take a lot of creativity to imagine the sorts of things that made up his conscious thoughts at the moment._

_As the seat belt sign went on, and I buckled myself in, I sighed and sat back in my seat. I closed my eyes and listened to my breathing coming in and out of my otherwise silent body. An end was approaching. I didn't know what it might mean, but something was going to change. The last time I'd felt this way was just after I'd learned Edward had fled to Denali. I opened my eyes and looked at Esme whose beautiful face was drawn with concern. Something in her eyes told me she was feeling it too._

------------------------------------------------

Bella and Jasper were holding hands tightly, Jasper had both of his clasped around Bella's. Carlisle and Esme were looking into eachother's eyes and I could hear Rosalie and Emmett talking quietly in the seats behind us. I was staring off, mulling through some random images I was getting from Edward when suddenly everything went blank. Completely and utterly blank. I sucked a sharp breath in, surprised. I quickly clamped my lips together, but not quick enough to hide it from Jasper. He turned to me and raised a single eyebrow in a questioning way, willing me to answer him. It worked of course. I held a hand up, waved it before my eyes and shook my head negatively to indicate I couldn't see anything. Jasper mouthed "Nothing?" back to me. I shook my head again, gravely. Jasper frowned and turned back to Bella, lifting an arm around her shoulders protectively. Bella was alerted to something by Jasper's actions, it was probably his emotions. When he was deeply concerned he had difficulty keeping his emotions in check, and consequently - when it was me anyway - I would feel his concern, worry, alarm, whatever level of discontent he was at. He could hide it if he found out about something when he wasn't near me, but if we were together at the moment he was informed, I knew everything almost before he did, just by the emotions he'd give off.

I heard Bella inquire in whispers what was wrong. To his credit, Jasper never lied or deceived Bella. He always told her the absolute truth. "Alice's visions have gone for the moment. She can't see anything any longer."

I heard Bella twist in her seat and lean forward. Jasper blocked her, "Bella, it isn't going to do any good to ask, you can try if you'd like, but Alice can't make predictions based on things she can't see."

"I know that," Bella moaned. "I...I just want to be doing something."

"Well, you'll be doing plenty, soon enough."

I couldn't see Edward, I couldn't see what he was doing or what he was planning, and that made me very nervous. What I _could _see was the rain making the tarmac a black, glossy human hazard, and a promising absence of sun. We made our way through the airport and then drove to Forks in Carlisle's Mercedes, which he'd left parked in the airport lot.

I was feeling very tense as we pulled into Forks, I hated not being able to see what was going on and I guessed perhaps Edward was being visited by Sam or Seth to find out what was going on with the family. I thought that might be a good thing, and that perhaps it would keep him safe, and occupied for awhile.

We made our way up the driveway and pulled up to the house. Everyone got out of the car and headed for the door. Bella and I were the first ones to walk through the front door. I gasped and Bella growled as the familiar smell of werewolf struck us.

"Hey Bells," Jacob called from the couch.

"Mom!" Renesmee sang out to Bella as we both stood gaping.

In all that had been happening recently, I couldn't remember the last time I'd given either of them one thought. I could see by Bella's reaction, as well as the reaction of the rest of the family, that all were equally surprised to see them. Renesmee ran up to Bella and hugged her. She looked up only slightly to look into her Mother's eyes, then lifted her hand up to her cheek. After a couple of minutes Renesmee stepped back, and Bella gasped.

"How long ago?" she asked.

Renesmee looked at Jacob, who in turn stood and walked over to where we stood. "We've been here about two and a half hours waiting for you, Edward left about fifteen minutes after we got here."

"He was very happy to see me, but he was so sad, Mom. Do you know why?" Renesmee questioned Bella softly.

I could see Bella struggling. How could she explain what had happened between herself, Renesmee's father and my husband. It was the most indelicate situation Bella, as a Mother could be forced to face.

Bella turned and looked at me, her face crumpled and questioning. I looked into her eyes and knew that I was going to have to rise above this whole situation and explain it to Renesmee myself.

I stepped forward intending to take Renesmee over to Jacob where I would somehow explain what had happened, when Rosalie and Esme walked through the door. Both exploded with excitement when they saw Renesmee and I was hindered from explaining.

"Rosalie! Esme!" Renesmee called out, her eyes filled with tears and she embraced both tightly. Her eyes were so like Bella's, I felt a small sadness at seeing the tears fall down her face. I missed the human responses Bella always had, her blush, her tears, all gone forever. Carlisle had made his way inside by this time as had Jasper. Seeing Renesmee seemed to have the same shocking effect on Jasper as it had on Bella. I was close enough to him to feel the strong feelings of doubt and dismay coming from him. He looked at Bella at a moment when she turned to him. When their eyes met the sadness between them was crippling. Even I felt it, and I was the last person who should feel pained for them, yet I did. Jasper gave Renesmee a quick hug, exchanged a couple of words with Jacob, and then shot up the stairs. I heard him hesitating in the hall at the top of them and realized he didn't know which room he should go into. I heard him move forward, as he walked over, and into Carlisle's study. This was going to be difficult from every point.

"Where have the two of you been? We haven't seen you in so long, it's wonderful to see you." The emotions in Esme's voice were palpable and strong. It was obvious she had missed her grandchild greatly. Kindness and love iced every word she said.

Then Rosalie spoke, "It is good to see you, things have been such a mess and so ridiculous, you two are like a reprieve from chaos."

"What chaos?" Jacob asked.

Rosalie looked at Bella, her eyes accused her at first, but after a moment she softened. "Bella and Edward are-" she cut off and looked at Esme, who reached a hand up and pushed Renesmee's hair behind her ear as she finished Rosalie's sentence, "Your parents are fighting, Renesmee darling. Things between them have..._changed_, and they have been struggling for a couple of years now."

Renesmee's eyes shot to her Mother's face, the question visible in her expression. Jacob actually laughed. Renesmee turned to glare at him, making him lift his hands up and shrug. "Don't look at me like that, Ness, I can't help it if I find it funny that eternity isn't all its cracked up to be between your Mom and Dad." Renesmee frowned, glared and became indignant, I'd seen that look on Bella's face when she spoke to Jacob before Renesmee's birth. That was the look of warning that came before Bella verbally cut Jacob out. He recognized it too, because he stepped forward and put his hands on either side of her face. "I'm sorry, but you have to remember, your Mom and I have history. I've known her for a long time, and I know her well, probably better than she thinks I do." He ended, looking significantly at Bella. Rosalie and Esme stood beside Renesmee, staring blankly, and Emmett snickered from behind Rosalie, who elbowed him gently, for Rosalie.

Bella's eyebrows shot up, and she was looking at Jacob appraisingly. "You're probably right Jake...and for that reason, I think you should take a walk with me. I think I'd like your opinion on something," she said in a meaningful tone.

Jacob looked at her nervously, "Oh no." He held his hands up defensively and began backing away from Bella, "No, no, no, I already know way too much about my in-laws, I don't want to learn anymore Bella. _Please_? Seriously?"

Bella's shoulders were pulled back and her whole stance was determined. I was suddenly struck by an urge to protect him, and chuckled to myself.

Bella moved at vampire speed and grabbed his arm, "No Jake, I think we need to take a walk, _now_!" she said.

Jacob looked at Bella's hand around his arm and grimaced, "_Yeuggghhh_, Bella, let me go."

Bella smiled mischievously and said, "Sure, sure," in a perfect imitation of Jacob, "as soon as we get outside," and they moved out of the house.

Everyone watched them walk out, Emmett was laughing out loud now, and Rosalie was smirking as well as they headed up to their room. Esme and Carlisle exchanged a look and Esme stepped forward and hugged Renesmee, "Carlisle and I have some things we need to take care of upstairs, you will be staying for awhile?" she asked, hope strong in her tone.

"Of course Esme, Jake and I have been missing home." Esme smiled and started to turn toward the stairs taking Carlisle's extended arm, when Renesmee spoke again, "Jacob will probably be very hungry by the time he gets back, should I cook for him, or would you like to?" she asked.

Esme's face lit up, "Oh, I'll take care of that dear." She turned back to Carlisle who smiled and looked at me, "Alice, will you stay with Renesmee for a bit until I can come back down and talk with her?" I nodded.

As they made their way upstairs, Renesmee finally looked at me, we hugged tightly and I kissed her cheek. Her blood smelled lovely through her cheeks, I wondered reticently if she could smell her own blood and if it made her throat ache.

"Alice, what's happened with Mom and Dad?" she asked me seriously, deep concern making her look like Bella again.

I looked at her blankly, I really didn't know what I could say to her. How could I explain this? I decided that the background facts which had started this whole mess weren't necessary for her, she just needed to know the basics. I sketched an outline in my mind and began, "Well, as Esme said, Bella and Edward haven't been getting along for awhile, don't ask me to explain everything, because I don't know everything," it was an evasion, but that didn't make it any less true, "but through the course of it, Jasper has been spending time with Bella, and I know this will shock you, but they've developed a very tight bond." I looked at Renesmee's face to see how she was taking this, she seemed to be fine, only concerned, so I went on. "They...I'd even go so far as to say they've come to love each other."

"Oh, well, that's nice. I know Mom had trouble with Jasper before she was changed. Dad told me Uncle Jasper nearly killed Mom once," she said, then continued, "So where were you all, when we got here. I was surprised we only found Edward here."

I off-handedly answered before I really gave it any thought, "We just got back from Bella and Jasper's house in Ottawa."

"WHAT?! Bella and Jasper's HOUSE?!" Renesmee exclaimed as she came to a screeching halt. We'd been walking towards the couches.

Carlisle groaned, and I heard Jasper curse upstairs. I felt my eyes pop open as I turned to look at Renesmee, realizing I'd just handled that as badly as could be possible.

"I'm sorry, I should have-" she cut me off.

"When you said Uncle Jasper had been spending time with Mom, I thought you meant here, on walks and things like that. Th-th-they're living together?!"

I sighed. I had no idea where to take this from here. I was debating everything I could say when she asked one more softly whispered question.

"He's your husband Alice, what's happened?"

I inhaled deeply and rubbed my hands roughly over my face, "Oh, Honestly!" I began. Why was I in the middle of this? Stupid visions, I thought to myself.

At precisely that moment, a vision swirled into being in my head, I saw a long plume of smoke rising up into the sky. There were flames dancing below it, and standing before them in the deepening twilight, a look of mangled pain and indecision lit in undulating waves by the fire, was Edward. I gasped, "Edward, _no_!"

Within a moment, Carlisle, Esme, Rosalie, Emmett and Jasper were all there by my side. "He's thinking of throwing himself onto a pyre, he's...he's built the fire. He's in a clearing, I can't tell if it's their meadow." The vision was gone again as quickly as it had come, but it was clear, so I knew it was strong. Carlisle took several vigorous steps to the back door and called out for Bella. I'd rarely heard him call out loud to us, and felt certain Bella had never heard it. As I figured, Bella came running in only a few moments after Carlisle had returned to Esme's side.

Bella came in with a wild look in her eyes, Jacob came in behind her a moment later. As he walked in, he shot a menacing look at Jasper whose eyes opened wide in surprise. I guessed Jacob Black was probably not giving off any emotions which could be called ingratiating.

Bella walked straight to me, "Have your visions come back? Did you see something?" she said, glancing quickly at Renesmee and then back to me.

That look cleared it for me, "Oh! That must have been why I couldn't see him before, Jacob and Renesmee are here, I'd forgotten about that." I said it aloud, but I was really saying it to myself.

Bella whined impatiently, "Alice?!" she begged.

"I'm sorry Bella, yes, I saw him in a clearing, before a fire, he's thinking of throwing himself in," I said quickly.

Bella made an incoherent sound of intense and furious annoyance, and spinning around, was out the door in moments. I saw her run across the driveway and suddenly found myself running too.

Once we were outside, it wasn't difficult to find the smell of the fire. It came from an area not far from the clearning we used for baseball, but it wasn't as close to the school, it veered off towards the mountains in the distance.

By the time we got there, Bella was already arguing with Edward, we could hear them long before we reached them.

"-it's always this way, I'm sorry for the things I've said, but your ridiculous behavior is what's put us here in the first place Edward. I love you, I do, but I don't want to spend eternity trying to keep you alive or keeping myself from a sub-existence because you're too concerned I'm going to find some way to endanger myself, or be unhappy. Something has to change here, and if it's not going to be you, then it's going to be me!" I could hear Bella yelling.

Edward was obviously still not helping his case, because I heard him answer, "You made it very clear in Ottawa that you wish to be left to your _happiness_," he said the word in a sickly venemous tone, "why don't you return to your precious love nest, I will not impose myself on you any longer, but nor will I enforce this existence on myself in witness to it, Bella. I cannot abide knowing this and living on this way."

"You backed me into a corner with your ranting and accusations because you assumed that I'd made my decision. You never wait to listen, you just assume, and jump to false conclusions without checking your facts. You do it time and time again and that is the most irrational example of madness I can think of. You can't expect to move forward if you refuse to leave the habits of the past behind. You spent 104 years alone before you met me for a reason Edward. You refused to break your pattern of solitude. THIS CAN'T GO ON! You have to make a choice to see PAST YOUR OWN FAULTS, and recognize mine."

We reached the clearing, but I noticed everyone had stopped just inside the tree line. I stopped next to Renesmee whose face was sad and shocked, she turned to me, "Is it always like this between them now? Is that what you meant?" Her sadness was so strong that I knew if Jasper weren't standing on the other side of everyone, it would have crippled him. I nodded my head in answer as she turned forward again.

Edward's shoulders were rising up and down with the enormous breaths he was taking, in an effort to calm himself.

"Edward, don't do this," Bella pleaded in hardly more than a whisper.

His face suddenly shot up in our direction. He looked scathingly all down the line, until his eyes rested in Renesmee's direction. She stepped out of the tree line and held a hand out, "Dad?" she said, her voice shaky with the tears which had just begun falling down her cheeks.

Edward's eyes scrunched tightly closed, and his jaw clenched hard and tight. "FINE!" he exclaimed in the a roar, "Fine," he whispered this time. He looked up at Bella, and glared at her, without taking his eyes off of her, he walked past her and over to Renesmee. He wrapped his arms around her and held her close to him. "My little love, let's go to our house. Jacob, where are you?" Jake stepped out of the trees, and moved over to them. Edward kept an arm around Renesmee's shoulders, while she held her hand out to Jacob. He glanced back to Bella over his shoulder, and then the three of them walked into the tree line to our left and disappeared.

After a moment of staring into the dark space Edward, Renesmee and Jacob had passed through, I realized I didn't belong at the Forks house either. I stepped out of the trees, Bella and I exchanged a glance. I gave her a pleading look, and her face fell in a heartbreaking way. Her head dropped and her shoulders sagged, "I'm sorry Alice," she said softly.

"Don't be, Bella. I'm not," I said, and I turned and ran after my brother.

-------------------------------------------------------------

As I watched Alice disappear into the trees peripherally, I felt my chest constrict. I thought of Renesmee's tears, Edward's anger and Alice's resignation and a pain shot through where my heart would be if it beat still. What have I done to my family? I thought. I knew that I wasn't solely to blame for what was happening, but nothing about this was simple or straightforward. I crumpled to the ground and wished so intensely that I could cry too, that I felt the worthless sobs rack my body. I felt a pair of arms reach under me, and lift me. I looked up, expecting Carlisle, and found Jasper's concerned and heartbroken face instead. I threw my arms around his shoulders and buried my face into his throat.

I felt him kiss the top of my head, as I heard his chest rumble with the soothing noises he was making. I felt myself calming down and it was like sedative, I registered somewhere in my mind that Jasper was using his ability on me, but I was too distraught to mind. I needed to be calmed. My head was in chaos. I couldn't believe that during all of this mess between the four of us, Jasper, Alice, Edward and I had entirely neglected to consider what effect this would all have on Renesmee. I was disgusted with myself for my out-of-sight-out-of-mind behavior.

Jasper carried me, bridal style until we reached the house. As we stood before it I could feel his hesitation and indecision.

I lifted my head back, expecting to find the family surrounding us, but discovered we were alone. I could see Emmett and Rosalie climbing the stairs inside, and Esme standing on the bottom step looking at Carlisle, who stood in the window looking back at us. His face was very stern, serious, and a little sad.

"What is it Jasper?" I asked.

"I," he started, but then he stopped and frowned. He set me down on my feet. "I can't go back in there Bella. I think I know why Alice followed Edward. It's because we don't belong there anymore." His eyes were locked with Carlisle's through the window, who was shaking his head back and forth slowly. Jasper's head tilted forward just slightly, and then his face tilted toward the ground, "I'm sorry Carlisle, I can't," he said, shaking his head.

Carlisle must have divined something from Jasper's movement, or heard him, because anguish took over on his face, and he looked down too, turning around and walking to Esme, and joining her in heading upstairs.

"It's alright Jasper, I'll go with you, wherever you go."

He looked at me, sadly, and nodded.

Nothing is ever certain, but in my life, the factors of uncertainty seemed to have a predominating effect. I couldn't ever make things go the way I wanted them to, I never had been able to. Sometimes things reconciled themselves of their own accord. The situation with Jacob was resolved when Jacob had imprinted on Renesmee, that was strange but it made sense in some inexplicable way.

The battle between our force and the Volturi had resolved itself when Aro was faced with looking too eager for disciples, as well as being in danger of losing valuable respect, among other things. But overall, the minute details of my life were never simple.

I was breaking up a family I loved dearly. I wasn't the person who had started it, but I was making a fabulously good stab at ending it. As I walked next to Jasper, his hand held in mine, I thought over what we were doing. What was going on between us. He felt my gaze and turned to me. His face was full of such sadness, and yet he pushed through it and smiled encouragingly for me, while lifting my hand up to kiss the back of it. We looked into each other's eyes as we walked for a moment. His eyes searched my face.

"Jasper, where are we going?"

His smile faltered minutely, no human would have caught it. "I'm not sure, I want to go back to Ottawa, but of course we can't leave." He chuckled slightly and ran a hand across his chin. His eyes widened suddenly, just a bit, and he looked back into my eyes, "Could we go to Charlie's?"

I hadn't even thought of it. Charlie spent most of his time at the reservation with Sue Clearwater, so his house was often empty. "That's not a bad idea Mr. Hale, I think maybe we should check into that. Maybe we'll run into him in the morning. He'd probably like to know that Renesmee's in town again, I wonder what he'll make of her. She looks at least five years older than she did the last time he saw her."

"How long ago was that, two years?" Jasper asked.

"About that, I'm sure Charlie will stick to his "less is more" attitude about information."

We ran easily side by side. Weaving through the trees on the way to Charlie's house. We were nearly to the house, and passed the stump I'd once sat on to consider the dire implications of falling for a vampire. I laughed at the irony of it, now that I was one myself.

Jasper looked at me when I laughed, and I saw his face fall a little, as we slowed to a human pace. "Being here makes you happy, doesn't it?" he said in a soft, concerned voice.

I looked at him, confused at first, and then realized what he'd misinterpreted. "Of course it does, but I was laughing because I was remembering the time when I first realized Edward was a vampire, and I laughed because now I'm the vampire." I grinned openly and infected Jasper, who grinned widely back. His face lit when he smiled, I loved his smile.

I stepped to the porch of Charlie's house, and reached up to the eaves to retrieve the key, which was in its rightful place, as always. I looked at the empty driveway as I opened the door and walked in. Charlie's cruiser wasn't there, so he was out. It was just after dark, so I figured he was probably gone until morning.

I went through the house, up the stairs and to my old bedroom. When I opened the door I heard the sound of things being slid forward as I moved it, there were boxes everywhere on the floor. Charlie must be reorganizing the attic, and he was using my room as the weigh-station. I looked at Jasper apologetically, "I'm sorry, this isn't very comfortable, is it?"

"What is all this?" Jasper asked, chuckling at the clutter everywhere.

"The accumulated representation of the life of a single man," I answered distractedly as several things caught my attention. The most prominent being a photo of Renee and Charlie together, I presumed on their wedding day. I looked at it and smiled at the love between them. It was apparent that it was there, but as it had with my husband, something had dimmed between them. It was the first moment that I realized the similarities and ramifications of what I was doing, I was running out on Edward every bit as much as Renee had run out on Charlie. My Mom was sweet, and kind, and happy. She wasn't able to flourish anywhere that didn't allow her to keep that going. I didn't want to believe I was like Renee, I'd always taken pride in knowing that I was stronger, more aware and controlled. Still, it couldn't be denied, there was a solidarity of actions between us. The realization took my breath away, and I sat on my old bed, and dropping the photo in my lap, dropped my face into my hands. Then there was the whole problem of everything which was going on at the Cullen home.

Jasper moved cautiously around the boxes and came to sit next to me, "Bella, you feel distraught. Will you let me help?" he asked, anxiety in his eyes.

"I'm fine Jasper, its just that I've suddenly realized that like my Mom, I'm a home wrecker. Do you suppose its something in the genes?"

"No, Bella, I don't," he answered seriously, "I believe that most behavior is learned."

He was right of course, but it still didn't change the fact that I was the dividing factor in two completely different families..

I looked at the photo again. "I miss her," I said softly, and leaned against Jasper's shoulder.

I was upset and fighting with myself not to cry. It was so stultifying to cry without tears.

Jasper put his arm around me and drew me close against him. I leaned into him. I felt his lips on my temple, the corner of my eye and my cheek. I turned my face to look up at him. He pressed his lips against mine for a soft and precious moment. As he pulled away, I reached a hand up to his cheek.

"But love is blind and lovers cannot see the pretty follies that they themselves commit," I quoted

"Shakespeare?" Jasper correctly guessed. I nodded.

"The path between two lovers may often cross through a forest of fallen trees, which are the brokenhearted they leave behind." Jasper said softly. I looked at him, "Who said that?"

"I did," he replied.

"When?" I was fascinated by the story behind this.

He grinned widely again, "Just now. I've only just made it up, but it seemed to be appropriate."

I grinned back at him, and we both started laughing. We leaned against each other, and indulged in some very out of place laughter. I was just getting myself back into control when the bedroom door creaked and Charlie's head peaked in, "Bella!" Charlie said in a surprised voice, and darting what to me was a very judgemental and annoyed look at Jasper. He looked back at me and asked, "Bella, where's Edward?"


	6. Uncertain

**Chapter VI**

Uncertain

_I don't know who I am_

_who I am without you_

_All I know is that I should_

_And I don't know if I can stand_

_Another hand upon you_

_All I know is that I should_

_Cause she will love you_

_More than I could_

_She who dares to stand _

_Where I stood_.

-Missy Higgins, Where I stood.

_Esme's voice came from behind me, "My love, Bella will work through this, she'll be able to figure it out." _

_"I'm not worried about Bella, she is stronger than Edward's ever given her credit for, I think even Jasper underestimates her occasionally, but he's coming to recognize the strength within her." I swiveled my chair around to look at my wife, who's kind face was drawn with compassion, that glint of light which had made me change her so many years ago. I stood and walked to her and pressed a hand against her beautiful cheek, which she leaned against slightly, before continuing. "No, I'm concerned for Alice. Her place is here, and she's gone with Edward, and I realized tonight that I haven't spoken with her about this at all, and she's been very quiet about how she feels about Jasper and Bella's relationship. I'd like to feel more certain that she's able to make it through this, but I find I'm not confident in the slightest."_

_"Alice sees things differently than the rest of us Carlisle, she always has." I opened my mouth to discount her abilities, when my wife went on. "I'm not referring to her abilities, Alice's view of most things has been different than our families from the beginning. She was the first of us to accept Bella because she recognized her potential, and the changes in Edward, before the rest of us did. Even before Edward himself. I realize the relationship between Bella and Jasper has been a severe blow to her, but Alice will see her way through it. I_ am_ sure of it."_

_I looked into Esme's eyes, I wanted to agree with her, I wanted to feel certain that Alice was going to make it through this and that she was seeing things from a perspective which would allow this to be a positive change. I lifted my hand to her cheek again. She was distressed about my unpeaceful mind, I wanted to calm her worries. "I'm sure you're right Esme. I should have seen that for myself," I said, and a sweet and peaceful smile crossed her face._

_I turned and walked to the door. "I'm going to go visit Edward for a short time," I said to her over my shoulder._

_"Where are they?" she asked._

_"At the cottage." I sighed, Esme had created that house for Bella and Edward. Somehow, though I couldn't judge Bella, Edward or Jasper for events as they'd unfolded, I couldn't help but feel that their house represented a great disservice being done by the children._

_I made my way downstairs and was reaching for the door when I heard Emmett's voice from the top of the stairs, "Are you going to see Edward?" I nodded, and he continued, "I'm coming," and he dropped down the stairs to my side._

_I raised an eyebrow to him, in question. Emmett shrugged, "I want to see my niece. Besides, I love antagonizing Jacob Black." He grinned wickedly. _

_"Emmett, I'm not sure it's wise to-" I began, but Emmett cut me off. "I know, I know Dad. I'll keep it simple. I'll only annoy him a little bit." He held up his hand and pinched his fingers close together to indicate a small measurement, then widened them as I watched. I tilted my head down and fixed him with a very stern look. "Alright, alright, even less than that. I promise." I allowed him to join me, but the glint of surpressed joy in his eyes made me uncomfortable. Still, I thought, it was likely that Emmett would keep the family distracted while I sought some time with Alice. _

_Whatever Esme believed of the situation, until I spoke with Alice, I couldn't be comfortable._

------------------------------------------

We sat in the front room of their cottage, Bella and Edward's. Our 19th birthday present to her, and a belated wedding present for him. Edward, Jacob and Renesmee were spread around the various chairs. I was sitting away from the others, by the window. I plucked mindlessly from the shelf next to me, at one book or another every few minutes or so, flipping through the pages and making a show of searching for a book that might interest me. I don't do sad the way the rest of my family sometimes did. Jasper's constant somberness, Edward's flights of drama, Rosalie's unceasing maliciousness, Bella and her constant insecurity guaranteed that she'd be introspective, even Emmett would get dour when things weren't as active as he could wish. So my current melancholy was confusing. I was just thinking that getting out of the cottage and going for a walk might be a good thing and returned the last book I'd pulled out to its spot on the shelf when I saw Carlisle and Emmett walk out of the tree line, through the window. I realized that a small hopeful part of me was waiting for Jasper to follow and that thought cemented my decision to get out of the house. I walked to the door and pulled it open as they reached it.

"Hey shorty, feel like playing a game of piss off the werewolf with me tonight?" Emmett's eyes glinted as he looked over my head at Jacob. I looked back over my shoulder and saw Jacob scowl at Emmett in response. Renesmee rolled her eyes, and looked at Edward.

"Will Uncle Emmett ever grow up, Daddy?" she asked, making Emmett's jaw gape.

"That's not fair, Ness, you know I've always been your favorite Uncle anytime you wanted to have fun," he said defensively, brushing past me and dropping into the seat next to Jacob. Jacob shifted slightly to the left and glared at Emmett in annoyance.

"Yes, you're right, Uncle Emmett, you're my favorite fun Uncle, or you were when I was _two_!" Renesmee cocked an eyebrow at Emmett, and Edward chuckled at the indignation on Emmett's face. Jacob chortled beside him, and caught his attention.

"Well, since Nessie doesn't want to play, Jake, maybe we could find something to entertain the others with." Emmett said brightly, recovering his usual taunting mood. Jacob's scowl returned again, and I turned forward sighing, and intending to go out the door when I realized Carlisle was still standing in the doorway, looking at me. I stopped short, "Carlisle?"

"Alice, I was wondering if you'd take a walk with me?" His face was unreadable.

"Sure, uh..." I looked back over my shoulder, where Emmett was pushing against Jacob's shoulder with his own and begging him to play a game with him. Jake's lip was curled and Edward and Renesmee were both giggling. I turned back to Carlisle, "I guess they're fine." He nodded and we both walked out the door. I crossed the stones to the edge of the forest and slipped into the trees, Carlisle kept pace with me. We walked, unconsciously I think, towards an incline in the distance. I was quiet, and as I looked at Carlisle, he seemed to be lost in his own thoughts as well, his brow furrowed and his expression seeming to change slightly with the trail of his thoughts.

I reached up and caught the branch of a tree and jumping slightly, moved up the incline of the hill before us through the trees. When I was even with the summit, I began jumping down through the branches from the trees. I hit the ground and walked up the short incline to an outcrop of rocks, in the middle of a treeless spot at the tip-top of the hill. I climbed up on the tallest rock, and sat down, dangling my feet over the edge. Carlisle sat beside me a moment later.

We looked out over the valley below, Forks twinkled through the treetops, a slight glow indicating its location in the distance. Carlisle looked at me, and I turned my face to look at him. His eyes searched my face for a moment, and his eyebrows relaxed a bit as he turned back to the view. He took a deep breath and spoke. "Alice, I'm not going to be evasive about this. You realize that there is a very good chance that Bella may choose to remain with Jasper, am I right?" As he asked the question, he turned his face back to mine, and studied my response.

"My visions told me that long ago, Carlisle. Yes, I know," I whispered, unsure if I could keep the pain out of my tone.

Carlisle reached out and pulled a branch that was growing from a cleft in the rock out, and begin stripping the bark from it. "Esme believes you have insight into the relationship between them that we don't, and that you'll be able to work through it without difficulty. I am," the hand pulling the bark from the branch in a long slow strip paused, "not as certain, as Esme is. Do you have any insight we're not privy to, Alice. Because at the moment, I'm inclined to believe that the pain of this could easily become unbearable for you."

"I will work through any outcome Bella decides upon, of course." I stared off across the treetops, seeing nothing but an unbroken, lonely and empty expanse before me. "I miss Jasper," I struggled to find a word to explain the divided wanderings of my mind, but instead simplified my answer, "often. I sometimes think there's no way I'm ever going to grow accustomed to watching her with him, but I've seen a change in him. Whatever her decision is, he's made this his plan. I can't remove that from him as long as it's what he wants, and it makes him happy. I have trouble, I remember..." I broke off and looked at Carlisle trying to recall what I'd told him over our many years.

"I've had visions of Jasper as long as I've known who I am. I awoke from fire, and the vision of Jasper extinguished the flames. He needed me, and I needed him, I cannot deny him anything he needs now. That-" I caught myself as the emotion got to me, "that includes Bella. My relationship with Jasper is something which goes beyond love. I alone have struggled to see the beauty past Jasper's scars. That Bella sees past them without struggle means,that her love for him might be even more beneficial to him than mine. I won't deny him any chance at happiness Carlisle, what it costs me means nothing. I'm not Edward, I won't get suicidal about it, ever, because I know without a doubt that the deeper love between Jasper and I hasn't changed, but I realized quite some time ago that I no longer hold Jasper's heart alone. It's divided now, and I won't force him to choose. He will make his own choices and I will live with them and consider myself lucky to have had the love I've shared with him. I will be here for him at the end of eternity. Whatever has happened between us, there will be that. I can't deny though that I feel unnecessary now. I'm not sure I make sense without Jasper."

Carlisle reached around me with both arms, and pulled me into a kind embrace. He leaned his head against the top of mine. "If you truly feel that way Alice, then I am reconciled, but if it changes, please tell me. And as to your last words, you are necessary to me, and our family wouldn't make any sense without your presence, so please, no more talk of such things. I can't think of it in any comfortable terms, and Esme wouldn't stand for it."

He kissed my forehead and released me slowly. We sat there and I ran over a thousand things in my mind. Moments with Jasper, the first moment I saw him when Bella and I returned from Italy, the moment he walked through the door at the diner in Philadelphia, his expression of hope when I told him about the Cullens, his protective posture the night we'd descended upon Carlisle and his family for the first time, the sneer he hadn't surpressed fast enough for me to miss when it was decided he'd be Rosalie's twin, the anguish in his face when I'd seen the scars on his full body the first time, and the subsequent joy when I'd accepted him anyway. The moment that haunted my memory at the moment though, was the way his face had broken into sunbeam of joy, when Bella had chosen him over Edward.

Everything felt wrong about me, without Jasper, but that moment, that look on Jasper's face said everything was right between them.

"I think I'm done wandering for the evening Carlisle, I think I'll go back to the house, rather than the cottage. I have some things I need to do."

Carlisle smiled at me, simple acceptance beaming from each of his glistening eyes. "Good, I was hoping I wouldn't have to resort to anything desperate to persuade you to return home. I'm pleased to see you've recognized where you belong."

I smiled back at Carlisle, but a small part of me still wondered if I could ever belong there on my own. I'd decided though, that I needed to start preparing for that possible eventuality. It was time to physically separate the world between Jasper and I. Perhaps that would bring me to a point where the division would happen in my head and heart as well.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

There's usually a moment of epiphany a person will reach when they're deep in thought over the course of several days. I had been thinking constantly, about the differences - both good and bad - between Jasper and Edward. Our shared laughter had allowed a moment of peace between us that I'd desperately needed. I could see a little more clearly now, so when Charlie questioned me on Edward's whereabouts, while looking suspiciously and accusingly at Jasper, I didn't hedge in my answer at all.

"Edward and I have split. Edward is at our cottage with Renesmee and Jacob Black, they've just returned."

I vaguely recalled seeing this expression on his face before, I'd thought then that he was about to have an aneurysm. I knew better now, the awkward silence this face conveyed was a precursor to a storm.

"You and Edward have _what_?!" Charlie exploded through the doorway, making no show of pretense toward being polite. I'd just thrown him a curve ball and he was determined to catch my meaning.

"We've split, in fact, I haven't been with Edward for the last two, nearly three years now. Jasper has been staying with me, helping me through it all," I finished.

It was coming on slowly, the storm, Charlie's mind was swirling but he was going to come through it at any moment. I stiffened in preparation for it. Instead of exploding though, he looked at Jasper with a frown, then turned back to me, confused. "Why? You kids are so....why has...was this _your _decision this time, or _his_?" he asked.

Uh oh. "His," I whispered.

"I knew....THAT'S IT!" Charlie whirled around and his voice faded a bit as he walked out of the bedroom door and down the hall, his boots pounding down the stairs. "I've had it with the way that kid treats you, I don't care what he is, or what's going on, I'm going to teach him a lesson and Carlisle had better not try to stop me!" Horrified, I jumped up off the bed and flew to the top of the stairs. I opened my mouth to call out to him.

"Charlie! STOP! It's ok, I wanted him to go, this time." Charlie turned around and looked up the stairs and directly into my eyes. "You wanted him to go?" he asked skeptically.

"Yes Dad," I said, wavering slightly as I remembered the circumstances of the beginning of this whole situation. I'd never been a good liar, and that was all the indecision Charlie needed. He nodded his head once, like I'd just confirmed something, grunted, and swept across the kitchen and out the door.

"Why can't I have a normal life?" I whispered as I felt Jasper come up behind me.

Jasper laughed, and then when he saw my expression, grinned sheepishly. "Sorry, its just that this," he indicated forward with his hand, in the direction Charlie had just gone, and then drew his hand back and forth between us, "you, me, marital problems, is probably the most normal your life has ever been."

I begrudgingly chuckled a little at the ridiculous _normality_ of it all, and soon we found ourselves laughing aloud again.

After a moment or two of easy, relaxed laughter, I composed myself. "We should probably get to the cottage before Charlie does. Edward has no idea what he's about to be confronted by. Then of course, Renesmee's there. Thank God Jacob's there, he'll be able to help Dad through this business. Dad trusts Jake, well, mostly. Having him explode into a werewolf has shaken his comfort level with Jake." I chuckled again, giggles threatening to consume me again.

Jasper's eyes were twinkling with contained laughter as well, but like me, he controlled it. He leaned forward and taking one of my hands in his, gently pressed his lips into mine. "I may be a vampire, Bella, but even I dislike a confrontation with Charlie. There are other dangers from an angry father-in-law than physical ones." I quirked an eyebrow at Jasper, silently asking a question which he understood. "Guilt. Charlie's presence alone will bring it out in Edward, the combination of Charlie and Renesmee is a force I wouldn't set against my worst enemy." Jasper grinned widely, and we stepped down the stairs and out the front door, I was careful to lock it after me.

Once we hit the yard we both ran. In no time at all, we arrived at the cottage. As we approached I became aware of someone else coming from the other side of the cottage, and it wasn't Charlie. I stopped and dropped into a crouch until Jasper softly spoke from beside me. "It's Carlisle."

Seeing us, Carlisle smiled welcomingly. "Ah, you're here, Alice and I were just speaking of you. She's returned to the house to take care of a few things." Carlisle turned to me, "Are you here to try and speak to Edward?"

I frowned at the hope in his voice. Carlisle never makes judgments really, he just accepts things as they are, but the hope in his voice spoke volumes about how he felt about our current situation.

"Eventually Carlisle, but we have a more pressing problem on its way." I sighed deeply, knowing it wasn't happy news. "Charlie's just found out that Edward and I split and he isn't very happy about it. He's on his way here right now and-" I couldn't go on. I didn't know what Charlie might be planning, but it upset me enough that I couldn't seem to make sense of it. Jasper finished for me. "I believe Charlie intends to confront Edward for his treatment of Bella, he's very upset, and his last words as he left were 'I'm going to teach him a lesson, and Carlisle had better not try to stop me!', concerning words, to say the least."

I remembered how upsetting I found it when I was still human that the Cullens all had perfect recall.

When Jasper had mentioned Charlie's words about him Carlisle's eyes had widened and for the first time I could ever recall, I heard Carlisle stutter. "Well, naturally I wouldn't...he can't expect that I..." Carlisle looked back at me again. "Does he know _all _of the circumstances of your split, Bella?"

It was my turn to have my eyes go wide. "Of course not! Charlie - that - I couldn't, no! Of course I didn't tell him what started it all. My Dad can only handle so much, you know. He still doesn't know exactly what we are, although Edward's always said he knows a lot more than he allows himself to believe." As we spoke the door of the cottage opened, as the light flooded the yard I looked at my cottage again. It was still the most beautiful sight imaginable. I felt a small piece of my chest ache remembering the love and happiness which had existed between me and the backlit figure now crowding the open doorway, but which seemed to have eluded us some time ago.

"Charlie's coming," he said. There was no question, he must be able to hear his thoughts. He looked in my direction and we exchanged an uncomfortable look. "You _told _him?" Edward gasped.

"Charlie found Jasper and me in my old bedroom," Edward's face contorted with pain, making me wince slightly before I went on. "He asked about you and I didn't want to tell anymore stories."

Edward nodded stiffly and the light coming through the door behind him shifted slightly, and then Renesmee's lovely face and round brown eyes peek out from under Edward's arm. "Papa Charlie's on his way?" she asked.

Edward answered her, "Yes love, he is, but I'm not certain you should be here to see him when he arrives. He's quite displeased with Daddy at the moment, and it won't be a very happy reunion, I'm afraid."

Renesmee stepped out from beneath her Father's arm and looked back and forth between us. "Is this because Mommy is living with Uncle Jasper instead of you now, Daddy?"

I was unprepared for the anguish that question caused Edward, I had to look away from him, and my eyes automatically sought out those of my one refuge, Jasper's. Jasper reached an arm out and took my hand, as he looked deeply into my eyes. Everyone was silent for a long, very stretched out moment. Jasper was calming everyone. He was the one to answer her.

"It's partially that, Renesmee, but mostly its because of the history between your Mom and Dad, honey. There's a lot that's happened over time that you might not be aware of, and Charlie has an old bone to pick with Edward that wasn't ever really cleared up to his satisfaction."

Renesmee turned back to Edward, "This is because of when you left Mommy behind, isn't it?" Edward's face was a comic study of surprise. He shot his eyes to me, and gave me a scathing look so fierce, I was taken aback.

Our lovely, and overly mature for a physically anyway, twelve year old daughter, caught the expression. "Oh no, Daddy. Mommy never talks about it, to anyone. But I've seen it, in memories, I've seen it. It was so strange, I had to look, but when I did I wished I hadn't."

A pin could have dropped and it would have sounded like a falling tree. Edward was the first to regain his ability to speak, while the rest of us just stared in wide-eyed disbelief. "Renesmee, love, can you read minds?"

Her miniature brow furrowed, and her lips puckered in concentration, "Not exactly, Daddy. Sometimes when I show things though, the people I'm showing them to open up and they show me things too."

Jasper recovered next. "Has it always been this way Renesmee?" She nodded. Suddenly a thunderous laugh exploded, unnoticed by all of us, Jacob and Emmett had come to the door and were standing behind Edward. It was Emmett who'd laughed. "My niece is _awesome_!" he said delightedly, making Renesmee giggle her amazing musical laugh.

Just then a flashlight poked through the darkness in the surrounding woods. Charlie!

Carlisle turned, "We'd better get inside and prepare. I'm afraid Renesmee's going to be forced to witness this, Edward, I'm deeply sorry."

Edward merely nodded, we all filed in through the door of the house, my house, and spread ourselves out on the furniture. Emmett and Jacob spread out on the various chairs, Edward and Renesmee sat down on the little sofa, Carlisle sat in the window seat near the book shelves and Jasper sat on the ottoman. I remained by the door and a moment later the door shuddered as someone banged on it from the other side.

I looked quickly around at all the faces of my family, there was trepidation in all of their eyes, but each held support in them, too. Jasper's most specifically. Just as I reached down for the doorknob I felt something brush against my shirt, and Renesmee stepped around me. She looked up at me with eyes which asked my permission for her to step forward. I felt my brows furrow as I regarded her for only a second. I lifted two fingers to my lips and kissed them, then placed them over hers, and she kissed my fingers in return. I then sighed deeply and leaned forward to the door, as Charlie's voice bellowed from behind it. "EDWARD! Bella told me you're here. I am not in a mood for games!" Renesmee looked askance at me, and then rolled her eyes. I snickered as she nodded, asking me to open the door.

I pulled the door back and Renesmee stepped through as Charlie yelled again, "I mean it Ed-," he paused as the door opened, "Renesmee, hi there," Charlie said as he beamed. She reached her arms up and wrapped them around his neck as he leaned down to embrace her, "It's good to see you back here honey, it's been too long." Charlie looked up then and looked around the room, he started visibly his eyes crossed over Jasper, and then he moved to Edward where he rested, and glared.

Renesmee, bless her tiny soul, stepped forward and took Charlie's hand, "Papa Charlie, why are you angry at Daddy?" Charlie's face fell slightly. "That's a long story, Ness, but it hasn't got anything to do with you. I'm just here to talk some sense into him," he said, as he glared again at Edward, contradicting his words.

"Maybe you should talk outside, Dad," I suggested quietly. Charlie jumped and jerked his head up to look at me with wide, shocked eyes, he shot a quick look back at Jasper again, then returned to me.

His lips trembled, as though he was trying to think of words to use, as his jaw dropped a little. Then he snapped his mouth shut, furrowed his brow, and glared suspiciously at me. "I'm going to make a judgment call and say this is one of those things I don't really want to know, am I right?"

Jacob spoke from the couch, as he stood up and made his way over to Charlie, "Need to know, Charlie, need to know." Charlie reached out and took the hand Jake offered and shook it gratefully, pleased to have something of normalcy to cling to. Charlie's double standards with Jake always amused me. Out of us all, Charlie was only sure of what Jake was, yet Jake seemed most familiar, so he stuck to that.

Jake turned, and seeing Charlie's eyes float to Edward, glanced at Edward himself, then looked back at Charlie. "How do you want to handle this, Charlie?"

Edward wrinkled his nose as the wind through the door blew Jacob's scent over him, and he stepped forward. "I think Charlie and I can handle this like adults, Jacob, but thank you for your assistance," he said dismissively to him.

Edward stepped around Charlie and Jake, touched his fingers to Renesmee cheeks with a sigh, and walked out the front door. Charlie spun around and followed him out, and I was about to step after them, but Renesmee looked at me, shook her head negatively and followed them herself. Like me, she'd been born thirty, and was only moving forward from there.

I stepped over to the window Carlisle sat in, and nervously watched them through it. He stood up, offering me the seat, and walked over to the ottoman.

Jacob and Emmett sat on the couch, Jacob was bemoaning the pain the situation between Charlie and Edward were going to cause Renesmee, and Emmett was taking every chance to make light of the situation. Emmett could no more help seeing things on their sunny side, then Edward could help eternally walking on the edge of an eclipse of doubt.

Carlisle and Jasper began speaking quietly together, and after a few moments I heard Carlisle say, "I'd very much like a moment to speak with you alone, Jasper. There are some questions I'd like to ask, and I think only you can answer them." I looked away from the window to see the effect of Carlisle's words on Jasper. Though he was wary, his beautiful soulful eyes mostly conveyed hidden pain. My chest tightened. Only one thing would make Jasper look that way, Alice. They stood and walked back through the house in the direction of the bedroom Esme had designed for Edward and me.

Outside the voices were raising and drew my attention back again.

"-I don't _think _so, Edward. Every time you come into her life, you've left a gaping hole behind, and I'm not sure I want you doing it anymore," Charlie cried out.

To his credit, despite a very stern and stoic expression, Edward was managing to keep very calm in the face off Charlie's anger. "What you, or I for that matter, feel about the situation at hand, Charlie, has never mattered less than it does just now. I'm afraid that Bella is the one calling the shots at this time. In the beginning it was my choice, because I was assured that my leaving would provide her with a measure of happiness which I seemed unable to provide her with any longer. It's been quite some time now, however, that I have ceased being in control of the current situation. I don't blame Bella for her choices, I can't fault her for looking for a way in which she can attain the peace which no longer visits her, between us."

Charlie seemed to be taken aback by the sincerity in Edward's tone, and by the words he spoke. "Bella? She's really the one who's kept you at a distance, and not the other way around?" He seemed, impressed by the thought.

"Yes, Charlie, Bella's always had absolute power over my heart. She is now exercising that power to great benefit. Where Bella is happy, I cannot bring myself to remove her from," he ended resignedly.

Charlie's face conveyed all the surprise he felt, as he shoved his hands into the pockets of his jacked, and shrugged. I reticently noted that the sky was completely dark outside, which meant it was likely very chilly out there.

"So then, what do you plan to do about this, Edward?" Charlie asked him, looking into his eyes. Edward returned Charlie's look for a moment, then turning his head managed to look directly, and unwaveringly into my eyes. He held them for just a moment, and the anguish in them was heartbreaking. He then turned his head back to Charlie again.

"I imagine, I will do..." he looked down, "nothing, Charlie. What can I do? Bella is happy, that's all I've ever wanted, regardless of what you thought of me, that's been my only hope." Renesmee stepped forward and wriggled her hand into her father's, when he felt her fingers, he turned his head and they looked at each other, golden eyes to brown. Love shined in both of their faces, and Edward curled his hand around Renesmee's chin. "I have all the best of my Bella here, I'll make my life with her for now. I'll consider the rest out of my power."

"So Bella is just supposed to manage on her own again, you don't care about her loneliness?" Charlie accused.

Renesmee shook her head, "Oh no, Mama won't be alone. Uncle Jasper will be with her." I cringed from behind the glass at Renesmee's brutal honesty. Charlie's shock was so visible, it frightened me as far as his health. I started to move, but Emmett's hand on my arm stopped me. He nodded out the window, indicating to me I should keep watching.

Renesmee rolled her eyes again and this time she wriggled her hand into Charlie's, "Oh Papa Charlie, don't be so silly."


	7. Disperses to Naught

**Chapter VII**

Disperses to Naught

_Something is scratching it's way out  
__Something you want to forget about__  
No one expects you to get up  
All on your own with no one around._

The Fray / Little House

* * *

_It was not the time nor the place to have a conversation about this whole situation with Jasper, at the cottage. Enough events were already unfolding there, and I suspected that Bella and Edward would need time to talk after they'd resolved things with Charlie. _

_We walked through the room Esme had designed for Bella and Edward, a detailed copy of our bedroom on Isle Esme. The room conveyed the same sense of light, as the house there was in perpetual sunshine and warmth. Walking out the door, we passed the pond, through the low forest of flowers, and the vine-covered lattices surrounding the outer edge of the formal garden. I followed my son as he walked through the winding paths that only the wild and inhuman might follow._

_Long past the treeline, and far into territory we normally reserved for hunts, Jasper finally slowed. I saw this as a sign that he was ready to talk._

_"I don't believe that you would disregard Alice's feelings ever, son. Could you please explain however, how this has continued into such a lengthy and bitter battle between my four children?" Jasper seemed about to argue with me, and I stopped his thoughts before they could be spoken aloud. "Yes, children, Jasper. I might not have been responsible for your change, or Alice's, but our family chose you as surely as every member of this family has been. Don't allow your insecurity to divide what I hold dear, and that which Esme devotes such affection to."_

_His head lowered, and I knew he wouldn't argue further. "Jasper, I feel in order to understand, I need to comprehend your view of it, because things seem to have become murky in comparison to the rather clear water you four appeared to tread in the beginning."_

_Time spent around each other made it easy for me to discern when my empathic son wasn't in control of his emotions, and I found that the guilt and sadness were prevalent around us at that moment. _

_"I haven't disregarded Alice's feelings, its true. I fear though, that I have taken them for granted and for that reason I don't deserve them," he said sulkily._

_"Nonsense," I replied, mildly annoyed, and unable to come up with anything more prolific._

_"I am intelligent enough, I think, to recognize Edward's shortcomings in his own relationship with Bella, and though I don't believe I am the perfect match for her either, we've invested too much time and emotion into each other for me to be able to walk away from this. If you were to view the love Alice and I share as stores of love, the one I have with Alice is full, always. So, nothing detracts from it. No words, no actions, no blame, it exists and cannot be denied. That, time has not changed, but I have been changed by time. I have divided my responsibilities, my heart. and I suppose at this point, perhaps even my soul. I'm not sure what to think of it all. I miss Alice often, though I know she has something inside her to keep her well."_

_Jasper looked at me, willing me to understand his feelings. I nodded, and said, "Alice told me something surprisingly similar in its meaning. You two seem to be connected on a wavelength the rest of us cannot feel, but only witness in awe. I fail to see how I can possibly question your feelings for each other, when both you and Alice have expressed such a likeness of mind. Yet, it's because of this continuing synergy that I must ask what draws, and stays your heart, in relation to Bella?"_

_Jasper looked at me thoughtfully, frowning deeply in his concentration. We continued to walk across the forest floor, angling past trees, and through glades of high grass as we came upon each in its turn. After several silent moments, spent considering just the right words, judging by Jasper's face, he turned to me and stopped._

_"Alice knows me better than I know myself, she sees my mistakes before I make them, and she ignores them, choosing instead to see only the good in me. I've always loved her for that._

_"Bella can't correct me, she knows me only so well, and in some strange way that's mildly intoxicating to me. Also, Bella recognizes my faults, and rather than ignoring them, accepts them just as part of me. She never feels it necessary to look past them. She just stares my faults in the face, smiles and asks me what book I'd like to read that afternoon. For some unusual reason I still don't fully understand, that blind acceptance inspires me to want to improve myself. She's never said a word about it, but there was always a small bubble of pity which welled up in Alice whenever I've exposed my scars around her. I always pick up just a slight bit of anger too, in addition to the pity. Again, she sees them, and fights to not see them." He paused, then looked me in the face. _

_"Bella sees them, really sees them and just goes about her business," he grinned widely, and looked astounded._

_"Yes, Bella has something about her. I think she's impressed every one of us in some way," I admitted._

_"Yes, she's made an indelible impression on me, permanently, Dad. I want to be where Bella is, I wouldn't leave her now, if I could."_

* * *

The vision of Jasper and Carlisle hit me suddenly, as I was laying out his clothes by style, fabric, designer and color. I knew he'd been fluctuating in some ways about me. I'd seen enough things to make it clear he'd been hurting himself unnecessarily on my account. Jasper had been my other half since the moment he'd taken my hand in Philadelphia, sooner, if I was honest about it. That would never change. That he was helping complete Bella's life now, was no surprise to me.

Edward had tried so often, and though it seemed like Edward and Bella had begun with the same intensity as Jasper and I, it became evident that no matter what Edward did, it wasn't going to follow the direction he wished it to. His years alone had taught him desperation and independence.

Jasper and Carlisle were in the woods. Jasper was smiling, there wasn't any compromise in that smile, it was joy. I felt a slight pang as I recognized it as the same smile he'd worn when Bella had chosen him in the backyard not so long ago. Triumph. Carlisle smiled as well, he reached his hand out to Jasper, cupping his shoulder. He nodded to him, and they walked back through the trees and I knew, suddenly I knew that it wasn't within my control any longer to determine anything about where Jasper and Bella's future might lead them.

I waited, expecting there to be something like a sharp pain that would encompass me, but it didn't happen. I loved Jasper too much, and he still loved me. What he had with Bella was something different, something that wouldn't change. I couldn't mourn the loss of something I hadn't lost. I smiled and kept working.

Jasper had accumulated a lot of clothes. I chuckled to myself because I was responsible for most of them. I supposed I had accumulated a lot of clothes for Jasper. I looked around the bed, and realized I probably wouldn't be shopping for him as often. Oh, I was still me, I'd still buy him and Bella both clothing whether they liked it or not, and if she gave me a difficult time about it, I'd find a way to make her accept it, even if I had to resort to vague threats involving Charlie, and road trips to do it. I looked carefully into the future, at Bella's, and I saw her acquiescence. Bella wouldn't cause Charlie any further stress on any account.

I walked over to the closet and pulled out one more suitcase, deciding that three wouldn't be enough for my selected piles. I began packing all of the boutique denims I'd bought Jasper over time, stitched, faded, distressed, wear washed, black, blue, light blue, midnight blue, and white. He hated the white ones, but I packed them anyway.

I retrieved the folding case which worked fantastically for suits during travel, and standing it on its end, began hanging all the cotton button downs and various pairs of cotton pants. His few pairs of khakis he'd only agree to wear in the keys and places where the weather required something lighter. I moved on to knits, various colors and kept going until I had everything wrapped up nicely for him. I walked down the stairs and pulled the door open for Carlisle and Jasper as they walked up the steps to reach it. I had Jasper's bags laid out on the floor before the winding stairwell.

"Alice?" he asked, looking at them, then at me in surprise.

I shook my head, did he really not see it, still, after all this time? "I saw you coming Jasper, all of your clothes are inside. Of course, you have a few things you want to grab, don't you?" I asked, beginning to turn resignedly.

I stopped as I caught Jasper's expression, his brows melted down, his golden eyes filled with something I only recognized by the accompanying feelings of guilt he wasn't able to hold back a moment later.

He stepped forward, and lifted me into a crushing embrace against his chest, burying his face in my neck. He gripped me tightly as, with a voice shaken by emotion, he said, "Virtue and genuine graces in themselves speak what no words can utter."

I hugged my arms around his neck, then pushed him back with my arms. He set me down, his eyes were full of emotion. I lifted my chin up towards him, and cocked an eyebrow at him. "All the world's a stage, and all the men and women merely players. They have their exits and their entrances; and one man in his time plays many parts."

Though he'd quoted Shakespeare to me on many occasions, I couldn't ever remember a time when I'd quoted him back to Jasper, and it took him by as much surprise as I'd intended. The expression I was giving him helped, he laughed aloud through his grief stricken tone.

"Alice, you are a force to be reckoned with, and a power not to be used lightly," he said, grinning.

I gave him a slightly cocky expression, "Naturally."

Jasper looked back at Carlisle, his eyes tight with emotion. They exchanged a knowing smile and Jasper made his way upstairs.

Carlisle's compassionate eyes turned back to me as Jasper disappeared into the upstairs hall, I smiled back at him, genuinely. "He told you about the store, didn't he?"

Carlisle snickered slightly, "If by stores, you're referring to shelves of never-ending supply, then yes, he told me."

"I thought as much."

Carlisle looked surprised, "You didn't know?"

I giggled, and Carlisle smiled delightedly.

"Sometimes it's fun to just guess." My attitude earned me a chuckle from Carlisle.

Jasper came back down after a couple of minutes, carrying the two things I knew he would be. One was a small black case, which though I couldn't see it as he carried it down the stairs, I knew had a glass top to showcase its contents; His single Confederate Major's star. The only thing he'd retained from his human life. The other item was a 25th anniversary gift I'd given to Jasper, and it halted my breathing and broke my facade a little to see it. It was the bell from the entrance door at the diner we'd met at. I'd gone back and bought it from the owner several years before our anniversary, because I'd found out they were closing the place. Jasper had shined when I'd given it to him, and laughed quite a bit too. I remembered that laugh and somehow I felt something slip out of sync inside me. I heard the sound of the bell and looked up.

Jasper was looking at me with an obnoxious smirk on his face, but his eyes were tight, he'd felt what I'd been feeling. "Earth to Alice," he said, looking at me with a gentle expression, and ringing the bell one more time. I knew the smirk was just because he was trying to cover up the fact that my pain caused him pain, and that he was making a valiant effort at trying to make me smile, but I couldn't give him the satisfaction of the return smile that he wanted.

Rather than hurt him further I turned to Carlisle, "I think I've got everything organized and, I think...I think I'll go on up now." I stepped forward and cupped both of my hands on Jasper's arms. I leaned up on my tip toes and kissed Jasper's cheek. "Bye Jasper." I said, he stopped me with a hand on my arm and held me close for a moment, looking into my eyes. He leaned sideways towards me and kissed me once softly and tenderly on the lips. Then he slid his hand off my arm and with a sad look, the smirk long gone, he said, "Bye Alice."

*~*~*

I could see through the window that Charlie wasn't prepared to face anything about Jasper and me. He was barely able to soak in the situation of Edward and me. In fact, in his great perplexity, it looked as if his animosity towards his son-in-law actually took a back seat to his pity for a fellow man being left behind by his wife.

"Edward, I..." he stuttered, "I'm not sure how to ask this without it sounding condescending, but...is there anything I can do to help out? Will you be okay?" Charlie's expression was surprised, and a little chagrined to be addressing Edward about such a subject.

Edward looked from Charlie to Renesmee's face. He lifted his free hand and gently pinched her chin between his thumb and forefinger. Edward's smile was bittersweet, hers was one of unconditional love of a child. "Yes, I'll be fine. I have all that I need here." He used the hand holding her chin to turn her face back towards Charlie. Renesmee squeezed Charlie's hand.

"We'll be close by, Papa Charlie, here you'll be able to visit with me, and I'll get a chance to take care of Daddy." Renesmee could do no wrong in anyone's eyes, least of all my Father's, so Charlie shrugged his shoulders, reached across and shook Edward's hand.

"Well son, I suppose...I guess I'm here if you need anything," considering his own words, Charlie's eyes widened slightly, "although, I can't imagine what I could give you that you don't already have."

Renesmee and Edward both chuckled, and Charlie relaxed visibly, blushing a little.

I walked over and cautiously approached the door. Emmett just touched my elbow as I took the handle in my hand, looking at me questioningly. I looked at his face and shook my head. "It's fine Emmett, but now it's our turn to talk. Can you keep Charlie and Renesmee in here so we can have the conversation undisturbed?"

He nodded, "No problem, Little Sister." He was grinning hugely. I smiled widely back at him. I never stopped loving his tendency to call me that.

I nodded, and gritting my teeth, opened the door.

I stepped out, and all three of their faces turned to me, a flood of pale light crossing each of them. I took a deep breath, I had so much invested in the hearts behind the three sets of eyes staring at me.

"Dad, I think it's time Edward and I had a heart to heart talk. Can you take Renesmee inside and give us some privacy?" Charlie nodded and stepped forward, keeping Renesmee's tiny hand securely in his own. He stopped as he felt Renesmee's resistance. She looked fearfully at Edward, a child's panic crossing her young face and her eyes wide with apprehension. Edward lifted her hand to his lips and kissed it softly, then covered it with his other hand. "Go on with Papa Charlie, Renesmee. Your Mother and I have a lot of talking to do, and most of it won't be anything interesting. Go in and have fun with Uncle Emmett, remind him again that you've outgrown him. He needs the blow to his ego." Edward winked and grinned conspiratorially at Renesmee who giggled slightly. He then let go of her hand, and she turned and walked inside. As she passed me, she held out her hand to me. I took it and we each gave a tender squeeze, then she and Charlie were inside and the night became deeper as the door closed behind them.

I turned back to Edward, his golden eyes reflected the moonlight back, making him look like a nocturnal animal who'd just stepped out of the trees. He looked directly back into my eyes, and we just stood there, assessing and deciding for several moments before Edward finally spoke.

"Our...uh, rather the meadow?" He frowned as he stood anticipating my response.

I sighed deeply, and perhaps a little resignedly, "Edward, it will always be our meadow. However, I think just somewhere a safe distance from the cottage would be good enough. I want the beauty of the meadow to be a time capsule for only one memory, the birth of our love." Edward's shoulder's slumped as I said the last words, and he sighed as he nodded in agreement.

"You're right of course. It's better to leave it to the beginning, let another field encapsulate the end." he said, as he turned away from me and began running.

I rubbed my hand across my forehead, and squeezed my eyes shut tightly, before running after him. I caught up to him finally and called out to him. He stopped the instant I called out, and turned. We were face to face.

"Edward, this time it can't start this way. Every time we've spoken about this you've begun the conversation with some statement or action which immediately placed you in the role of either the victim or the defendant. It isn't a court trial Edward. This is a discussion between an estranged husband and wife, father and mother. This is about how to handle a marriage that had a beautiful, storybook beginning, a glorious early middle, but needs an explanatory middle chapter to keep it from going directly to the end."

He sighed dramatically, but fortunately, his tone remained reasonable and remarkably calm. He wasn't even displaying his usual defensive posturing. "Bella, at least allow me honesty at this time. You have every intention of going back with Jasper. I'd appreciate it if you wouldn't continue to lay false hope at my feet. I'd rather just agree to end it and move on. I was always suspicious that it was too good to last anyway, so it doesn't come as any sort of a shock to me, I assure you."

Stunned, I answered before I really gave it a lot of thought, "Oh, that's rich Edward, do you think you might possibly have been your own self-fulfilling prophecy? I know you like that phrase a lot, I've heard you use it before." I grimaced as I heard myself speaking such ugliness aloud.

I inhaled deeply, as Edward's posture went from reticently resigned to defensive. "I'm sorry Edward, I don't want this to turn into another painful yelling match. You seem to have the ability to always disconcert me, that hasn't ever changed." I looked down, frowning.

He ran a finger across my cheek as he uncoiled himself from his defensive posture. "No blush, no rushing heartbeat, and no sudden increase in your breaths," he whispered sadly.

"I've changed a little physically since those days, Edward," I said, as he lifted his hand and held it against the side of my face. I continued, "My love for you is still there though Edward, you still dazzle me." I grinned as his lips lifted into the old crooked grin which had always set me aflame.

"Do I?" he asked as he ran his fingers around the back of my ear, and then slid his palm down against my neck, stroking my jaw with his thumb.

I chuckled a little, and laid my hand against the back of his. "Not as frequently now Edward, but yes, much about you is still dazzling to me." I pressed my hand against his, and then let it drop back to my side. He sighed again and reluctantly let his hand drop too.

"Should I gracefully let you exit the story now then, Bella? I can of course. You know your happiness has always meant more to me, and I'm willing to move on if this is what needs to happen."

"Your moving on is still no guarantee that my happiness will remain, you can't keep letting your wishes for me guide your decisions, Edward. It's a valiant effort, but it can't obligate fate to deal me riches in love or life. I want to explore more time with Jasper, I want more time to investigate all the intricate details of what your love means to me. It isn't a choice between the two of you, not really. It's more or less a battle between the Bella I am with you, and the Bella I am with Jasper. If you choose to move on, because you feel it would be an unfair waste of your time to allow the lenience of the remainder of this promised two years, I will respect that and choose the path of my life accordingly. That doesn't mean I will choose Jasper because you've moved on. It just means I will continue to give him the best of all I am for those two years, and make my decision at the end, as I'd always planned."

"If I'm not here Bella, if I, move on as you put it, what would your alternative be? You'd be forced to choose Jasper or life alone? That simply isn't acceptable. My family has adopted you as one of their own, they wouldn't accept it either."

"Yes, Edward, but that would still be my choice to make. I would choose what would still make me happy regardless. I love you, Edward, you are the embodiment of what I chose eternity for. I love Jasper, because he loves me in such an uncomplicated way, and I feel myself living my eternity the way I'd meant to. It's still very early in the relationship between Jasper and I though, and honestly I've already noticed a couple of worrying trends in his behavior that need to be addressed, but how we address that, how you and I address this time between us...these are deciding factors in my ultimate intention. You, him, the family...that's not the source of this Edward, the source of this is me. All of you will have to face my decisions the same way they all faced yours when you decided to leave me. This is me, Edward. This is something about me, and who I want to be; today, tomorrow and all the next days possible."

He stepped forward closer to me, looking deeply into my eyes, "What would you like me to do, Bella? Tell me, what should I do?" His expression melted, and his last words turned into a plea. I felt his pain, with pain of my own.

"I want you to cater to your own mind, for your own good, Edward. I don't want you to make any decision contingent upon what I might do, but upon what you're able to deal with. Stay or move on, but do it because it's what is best for you, not because it's what's best for me." I pleaded back.

He reached his hands up and gripped my face tightly between his two palms. I felt his breath wash across my face as he whispered my name. His lips pressed softly, but firmly against mine and he released one side of my face to reach around behind me and pull me against him. I wrapped my arms around his neck and lost myself in the kiss. He wrapped his hand into my hair, holding the back of my head. I could feel his chest heaving erratically against mine, and a moment later, I reached the anguished realization that he was crying. He broke the kiss, and dropped his hands as he stepped back away from me. He gave me a tortured look, as I stifled the urge to cry for his pain. "Edward?" I whispered back, half in panic, half in pain. He backed away then, and turned. As he ran through the trees he called out.

"I can do nothing except wait, Bella."


	8. A Pebble Drops

**Chapter VIII**

A Pebble Drops

_Don't kid yourself_

_and don't fool yourself_

_this love's too good to last_

_and I'm too old to change._

Muse / Blackout

* * *

You can't make it work, if it doesn't, son. You can try to work on it, but that doesn't mean it will.

_My thought earned an annoyed sounding grunt from my son._ It really won't make a difference you know. This is completely her decision, as she told you.

_My words were met with a gruff silence, his back to me, statement enough for anyone who wasn't interested in understanding the situation beyond surface issues. I was determined to know what he might be thinking. Ignoring his obvious attempt to avoid the conversation, I walked over and stood just behind his shoulder. I laid my hand on his shoulder and spoke._

_"Edward, if I had your power this conversation would suffice. As it is, I can't understand your feelings unless you share them with me. I'd like to help in any way I can, but unless you share the problem with me, I can't effectively offer anything."_

_He sighed exaggeratedly, "Carlisle, there truly isn't anything you can do. All I can do is simply be patient. Even that may not be enough. I walked out on the only opportunity to fix this I had, nearly three years ago now when Bella asked me not to leave. I was arrogant, stupid and incredibly certain of my own foolish knowledge. She said then, that by walking out I was making a choice, and that if I did, she would be forced to make one of her own. Those were her very words Carlisle. I can't ask for assistance from anyone for a decision which was mine alone."_

_"It isn't the most enviable of situations for anyone," I said, shaking my head in sympathetic distress. "Do you have any idea what you're going to do, any defined plans for how to handle this?" I asked, wondering if there would be anything I would be able to do to help him right this situation. _

_Edward finally turned and faced me, he inhaled expansively and said, "Actually, I have Dad, I've made just one plan. I'm leaving."_

_"Leaving?"_

_Edward continued, "Yes, leaving. Leaving home, leaving Bella, this chaos, the bad memories, the good memories, Forks, in fact, I'll be leaving America entirely. I'm going to take Renesmee and Jacob to France. I've already spoken to them about it and they're comfortable with the idea. I had planned on it just being the three of us, but Renesmee had promised Charlie she'd visit with him more often. She was afraid it would break his heart if he weren't along, so she's invited him as well. Apparently Chief Swan hasn't taken a vacation in all the years he's been in service, so he'll be joining us for a full month."_

_He looked minorly chagrined, but resigned as well. I considered what about the situation might be troubling him and thought that perhaps Charlie's former animosity towards him still made him feel uncomfortable in his presence. He'd frequently sent an envoy to Charlie for things he needed to arrange with him over the years, and as I thought of it in that context, it gave me an idea. Edward looked sternly at me with furrowed brows for a moment before closing his eyes, and inhaling. He pinched the bridge of his nose. "Alright Carlisle, I'll ask Alice as well. She would be a perfect companion for Charlie. Between Alice, Renesmee and Jacob, Charlie will feel very comfortable. Though I might need an additional vacation at the end, Charlie and I both might," he smirked as he said the last part, and it relieved me to see him handling this so well._

_"Thank you, Edward. I believe she needs the companionship and distraction at least as much as you do, son. This hasn't been any easier on Alice than it has on you."_

_Edward looked up significantly as he said, "I'm much more aware of that than I care to be."_

_I smiled sympathetically, and thought, When will you leave?_

_"If Alice can work her usual magic with the passports, then I hope by the end of the week," he answered._

You all have passports alr...oh- _I started to think, then we simultaneously said aloud, "Charlie!" nodding and smiling at each other._

Well son, you'd better let Esme know. She's going to be so broken-hearted to lose all of you again, so soon.

_"All of us, who else is...ah, I see. When are they leaving to return to their _cottage of love_?" Edward asked in a scathing tone._

_"Tomorrow, Bella let Esme know as soon as she came in after the two of you spoke."_

_Edward's face condensed, and he stiffly passed me and went up the stairs. A moment later I heard his bedroom door softly close._

* * *

"You? You quoted Shakespeare to Jasper? Seriously?!" she said, chuckling.

"Honestly Rose, the way you say it is almost insulting. I have read as much Shakespeare as Jasper has, you know. I'm just as familiar with it as he is, I just don't ordinarily choose to go spouting the words of a man who has been dead for about four-hundred years. I like my quotes from people who still breathe on a regular basis."

"That's a bit ironic coming from a vampire don't you think, Alice?" she asked me with a very insinuating tone.

"Cute, Rose, would you like me to take a quick look at the state of your hair for the next few hundred years to see which years will be bad years? Or would you prefer I take a look at how many noteworthy women will size Emmett up in the next year?" I asked her in an over annoyed tone.

"Jeez Alice, lighten up. _I'm_ the bitch, remember?" Rose quipped, her smirk widening into a grin.

I laughed, and shook my head. "I'm sorry Rose, I think all of the things that have happened in the last couple of years have negatively affected my sense of humor."

Rosalie's grin turned grimace-like and she leaned over and hugged me tightly. "I'm not going to pretend all of this has been the effect of yours and Edward's actions, but I still hate seeing my sister in this state. You need to get away Alice. Reboot your good mood or something."

I nodded my head, "I know, I've been thinking the same thing. I'm just not really sure where I want to go." Rosalie and I made our way up the front steps of the house as the front door opened, and Edward stepped out.

"How does France sound, Alice?" he asked.

I exchanged a quick, grinning glance with Rosalie.

"France is always a fantastic destination, but why do you ask?"

"Depending on the speed of your forgery skills, I'll be traveling there at the end of the week, accompanied by Renesmee, Jacob and," he sighed significantly, "Charlie."

Rosalie immediately laughed, "Jacob _and _Charlie? What'd you do that you're being punished for?"

I slapped her arm, causing Rose to look at me indignantly, "Shut up, Rose." I turned back to Edward as Rose walked past him and in the front door.

"So I'll assume you need me to forge Charlie's passport, and that he's managed to arrange the time off from the station?"

"Right on both counts," he smiled, infectiously it turned out. I smiled back at him, and without saying a word ran past him into the house to get started on the passport.

"Thank God!" Edward exclaimed as he heard my thoughts. "I wasn't sure I could handle a month of Charlie's suspicious glares alone."

I giggled all the way up the stairs. Finally, something to DO! Ooo, I could go shopping for everyone in the house, and come home with new wardrobes for them all. I heard Edward groan audibly behind me, from the living room.

"Alice, please don't restock me again, I've finally made a dent in the last collection you brought me!" I giggled more in response and he groaned again. He tried a different tack. "Rose, Emmett, she's planning to shop for us all again," he called in annoyance. I heard groans through the door next to mine as I reached my room. I switched to a full laugh at the sound of Emmett and Rosalie both begging, "Alice, no. Please, she can't really - will she?"

"Oh please,Emmett, you've known her as long as I have, you know she will. Don't be dense."

"I. Hate. New. Clothes." It sounded like Emmett was definitely speaking through clenched teeth. "I wish Jasper wou-" Whatever the end of that thought was, was cut off by a loud crash.

"Dammit Rose, that was a collector's addition."

"Whatever it was, wasn't as valuable as Alice's sanity, Emmett!" I heard Rosalie whisper in a scathing hiss.

I said aloud, for Emmett's defense, "I wish Jasper would, too, Emmett, but he won't."

I heard another softer crashing sound, "ROSE!" Emmett's voice rang out. "Idiot," I heard Rose throw back.

*~*~*

The barren, frosted trees we passed flew by at a speedy pace. I was sunken down in my seat, silent and brooding in my own quiet world. The only sound was the distorted warbling voice from the radio, and the tires crunching through the untouched parts of the snow covered road. The houses were still tightly packed here and as we passed them their shadows seemed to cover us in time with the song. Everything seemed to drag; time, distance, my thoughts. I was moving inexorably closer to the next phase of my life and I felt like I was in a dream where depth perception had flown out the window and joined the frigid wind dovetailing in our wake. His hand reached over and pulled my hair back over my ear. He reached his hand back behind my neck and rubbed his thumb up and down in a gentle caress across the side of my throat, and along the bottom of my jawline.

I turned to look at him, his eyes were on me. "You're anxious, are you sure about this?" His voice was always so smooth, and his large, expressive and penetrating eyes always seemed too intent. It always gave the impression that he knew what I was thinking before I actually told him. His hair blew across his face in the wind from the cracked window. He shook it back and re-focused on me. He lifted his hand into my hairline, and said, "Silence is an answer, you know." I smiled at him. He continued, "We can still turn around. Nothing is written in stone, and we'd outlive it even if it were." I shook my head negatively and turned my gaze back out the window at the passing houses. The space between them was growing larger, we were leaving the outskirts of the city which meant that we'd be arriving at the house soon. We slowed for the last signal before the final stretch to the gated driveway that marked the Ottawa place's entrance. There was a two-story house on the corner I happened to be looking at as we came to a stop. Through the front window, I could see a young teenage girl with brown hair in a pony tail. It reminded me of saying goodbye to Renesmee the day before. She was going to France with her Father, Jacob, Alice and surprisingly to me anyway, Charlie.

Renesmee had cried, and so had Charlie. It had been so selfish of us all to believe this whole escapade affected only the four of us, and by some direct extension, Esme, Carlisle, Emmett and Rose. I couldn't imagine how I'd overlooked where the roots Jasper and I had grown might break through the concrete of our family's pathway. My thoughts were disrupted by his voice again, "Now you're angry, seriously, I don't want this to be against your will."

I smiled encouragingly, "Jasper, I was remembering saying goodbye to Renesmee, that's all. I'm not angry about anything between you and me. I'm just missing my daughter at the moment, and my Dad as well."

Jasper looked at me again, skeptically. "Charlie will be back again in a month. We can go visit him in Forks when he returns."

"I know, but Edward said he's taking Renesmee away for the duration of the two years. I know that'll be good for him, because it will mean he isn't alone, but I've missed so much time with her already. When they get back she'll probably be 15 and her young years will all be gone. I can't be like most Moms and just have another. We all knew Renesmee was unique, but I think I'm beginning to truly appreciate just how much so."

"You could always go to France to visit her," he said, brushing stray blonde tresses back out of his eyes again. I opened my eyes wide, then smiled and shrugged a shoulder. "No, Jasper, I wouldn't leave you for that length of time just now."

"You wouldn't leave me, Bella, I'd go with you."

"Really?" I asked, excited by even the idea.

"Of course, anywhere you want to go Bella. Always." I sat up a little higher as we turned into the driveway and passed under the arch of our gated driveway. Jasper pulled the car up to the gravel driveway before the front door.

I remembered the pain I'd felt standing on the edge of this driveway when I thought Jasper was excited to return to Alice. I didn't feel as resentful of that feeling now as I had that day.

The front door groaned as we pushed it open, as if it was whining at us for being gone for so long. I stepped inside with my carry-on bag. Jasper had used it as an overnight case for me. He carried all our other bags. He kneeled down next to his own carry-on and unzipped a pocket, and retrieved two things. One was a black velvet case with a glass-topped lid. Inside I could see an ornament of some sort. It looked like a military star, and I realized it must be his Confederate Major's star. Alice had told me of it once. He walked over to the mantle and set it down with his right hand. He turned then and that's when I saw it. Alice had explained that to me, too. I'd heard all about it. It was a 25th wedding anniversary to Jasper from Alice. It was the bell from over the door to the diner they'd met at. Curious, I asked him about it, "What are you going to do with that?"

"I think I'll put this in my room," he said as he made his way away out of the room.

MY room, we're back to that are we? I thought in surprise. We'd spent nearly two years living without separate division. I had been worried that things might have changed on the drive back to the Ottawa house, Jasper's actions seemed to have confirmed it. I sighed as I heard Jasper re-entered the room. He had a horrified expression on his face, "God, that sounded awful, didn't it? I'm sorry, Bella. I spoke with Alice over the phone from here initially and that wasn't so bad. Saying goodbye this weekend in person wasn't as simple, and I feel so out of it now."

He set the bell down on the mantle next to his insignia, and walked over to me. He wrapped his arms around my back and kissed me softly on the forehead. "I didn't mean to exclude you or anything, Bella. I think it was more or less that I didn't want to throw reminders of my former life with Alice in your face. Accept my apology, I'll feel better if you lie to me a little," he pleaded with a small grin on his face.

I wrapped my arms around his neck and nuzzled my head under his jaw and said, "Honesty isn't something to be apologized for. Nothing between us has changed, Jasper. If we're going to work, we have to be honest with ourselves and each other. The fact is, we both do miss them, I won't fault you for that, and I won't hold you to this. If you want to return to Alice, you're free to go. I will remain because I'm determined to see these two years through."

"No, that's not what I want," he answered, with a tender kiss on my forehead. He stood back and slid a hand down my arm, taking a my hand in his. "But I can't deny that a part of me does miss Alice. She has been the focus of my world for so long, it's hard to get used to it being any other way. That still doesn't change the nature of the commitment I've made to you." He smiled sweetly and I smiled in return, as I pulled him over to the settee to sit next to me.

"Edward was part of my life for a long time also, though not nearly as long as you and Alice. However, I do understand what you mean. You should remember your time with Alice. Your love for her is part of what made me recognize the amazingly compassionate side of you. But honestly, Jasper, do you feel at all that this might be a mistake?" I asked, uncertain and fluctuating.

Jasper looked very seriously at me. "Do you?" he asked in a concerned tone.

"No, but it scares me," I admitted.

He looked at me for a moment and then he stared out the window. When he looked back at me, he had a new expression on his face, it furrowed his eyebrows. "I'm afraid of it too, but I'm not afraid of this time with you, nor of it being my future. I'm entirely unafraid of loving you, that comes easily."

"Hmm? I'm not sure I like the sound of that," I said, with a bit of a raised eyebrow.

He smirked back, "Why do you say that?"

"Shouldn't loving be frightening? Shouldn't there be vulnerability and trepidation?" I teased.

Jasper wasn't falling for it, he gave me a knowing look and leaning back against the back of the settee with his arms smugly crossed behind his head said, "Those emotions only surround conditional love. Ours is absolute, unconditional, healthy. There's no risk of loss, nothing to fear."

I scoffed, and he leaned up just enough to grab my arm and pull me against him. Wrapping his arms around my middle, he pulled me tight against him, pressing our bodies close. He reached up and pulled a stray lock of hair out of my face with his left hand and then settled it around my middle again. "She laughs. Why does she laugh?"

While vainly struggling to push myself off his chest, I answered, "She laughs because she is wise enough to know that every love that holds a heart has something to lose."

He chuckled as I huffed and fell against him in defeat. "Well, yes, that's true for the most part. I only meant that regardless of what might happen between us, you would always have my love. Whatever love has grown between us, you began as family, that love you will never lose. Wherever you go, I will love you, always." By the end of his declaration his brief chuckle had melted into an expression of complete honesty.

I leaned against my hand, which was braced on the settee, looking into his face. His eyes were a deep amber, a slight shadow developing beneath them. His blond hair fell back away from his face which wore an expression of concern. His wide lips were tensed in a straight line, and another line creased the skin between his gathered brows. I reached a hand forward and brushed it across his cheek, his tensed expression immediately relaxed, and he captured my arm with his hand and held it to his mouth so he could kiss my palm. He slid his hand down my arm until it held my hand, and then pulled me forward.

Our kisses were always different, the unpredictability of them was always satisfying in some strange way I couldn't describe. He pressed his lips into mine and the contact was like an introduction to someone new. He pulled me hard against him and ran one hand around my neck, and the other up the back of my shirt. I sighed in contentment over the feeling of his hand on my bare skin. His fingers explored my back from my waist to my shoulders, then back down again. He dragged his fingers slowly, achingly so, around my side, and then slid his fingers up across the bare skin of my abdomen and across my chest. I moaned as he ran his fingers back and forth across the delicate skin on my chest, just below my neck. Jasper growled inhumanly low, and turning his hand around, ripped through the front of my button-down blouse. As it fell open, and torn, Jasper simultaneously lifted my stomach to a place level with his lips, turned me over, and pulled my blouse the rest of the way off. As I felt the familiar feeling of the settee's plush surface against my bare skin, I said, "I love this settee, I love this house," I looked down into Jasper's eyes, which were raised up to mine in response to my voice - though his eyes were haunted, empty, a million miles away - and went on, "and I love you Jasper. Who has the strength not to?"

My life had given me so many happy endings. I felt blessed that it honored me with another, opening the page of the new happy chapter of my life with Jasper. His last words - just before this tender and anxious moment melted into another blissful state of seductive love - were whispered in a husky voice that belied the tenderness that the words insinuated. "The gift of love for my Bella," he said between kisses, obene last before exclaiming in a desperate tone, "Always."

Yes, always; his hands, his lips, his love, his commitment. They were mine, always.

THE END


	9. Epilogue

_****A/N: WARNING!!! This is the epilogue! If you enjoyed the ending of Eight Season's at the end of Chapter 8, then I'd recommend not reading this.**_

_**I have been begged and pleaded with by the chosen few who had the opportunity to read the epilogue I'd written for 'Eight Season's' to **_**please post it on ff(dot)net **_**. So, with no further delay...I give you the epilogue. My choice was to hold on to it, & only share it with those who complained. That said, PLEASE READ THE FOLLOWING SUGGESTION:**_

_**In order to TRULY and SERIOUSLY enjoy this ending, you MUST - I repeat MUST go to YouTube and type in "Pieces, by Red" and play that song while listening to it. Preferably the version posted by 'HouseMagician', because it includes the whole intro, and the lyrics. Not that you're going to read them, you're going to go start the song in a new window or tab, and then come back and start reading. Trust me, the song goes with the beginning of the story. **__**Seriously**__**. So go find it & play it....it's ok. Go,....we'll wait....................**_

_**(Update: There is a link to YouTube for the song now posted on my profile page)  
**_

_**Ok, great - now read.****_

* * *

**epilogue**

A Passing Storm

Eight Seasons; Alice promised, Edward honored, Jasper accepted and I fought.

Eight Season's first enforced, then chosen. Four years afterward, to the day, we drove through the dappled and filtered light of the forest surrounding Forks, WA. We passed the old high school, where another group of confused and mostly ignorant kids milled around the parking lot. They waited for life, realization and wisdom to strike them, like fate's bullet. They knew it would either kill them, or send them hurtling towards another destination.

The sun filtered down through the clouds, and the trees, as we passed Newton's, and the station where Charlie would be sitting behind a desk, milling over paper, or working on taunting his deputy into going on a food run. We wound slowly through the trees to the old familiar break just outside of town. Turning onto the Cullen's driveway I felt a drawing feeling in my stomach, butterflies. It'd been so long since I'd felt anything like it that I didn't recognize it. The car nosed through the trunks of the surrounding trees as we made our way down the driveway to the house.

We pulled up out front, and I sat in the car staring at the front window of the house, it looked much as it had when I'd come here during the time that Edward had left me after my disastrous 18th birthday and all its long reaching consequences. It looked empty inside, and I felt as much like an outsider sitting in the car as I had then. I kept looking at it until Jasper's body blocked the car window and my view of the house. He pulled the door open and stooped down to a crouching position. He took my hand, and held it gently, rubbing his thumb across the tops of my fingers tenderly, slowly. He remained there a moment searching my eyes.

"Bella, I'm still not one-hundred percent sure we should be here for this, if you're unsure too, I think we could easily turn around and head back to Ottawa. It's your decision." He looked into my eyes, his own a deep golden that reflected the shadows of the overcast day. As we remained looking into each other's eyes in indecision, we heard the sound of the front door slowly opening. Jasper stood up, pulling me up with him, and as I stepped around him, he stepped back. Our eyes held one anothers one moment longer. He looked at me questioningly, we both nodded in agreement, and turned. We faced the front of the house as Edward and Alice stepped out onto the patio, and stood at the top of the steps leading down to the driveway.

No one spoke.

*~*~*

_The four of them stood there, looking across a few feet of dirt driveway at each other as though they were seeing a physical manifestation of all the days and months they'd spent apart between them. None of them spoke, none of them moved, only their habits of fidgeting proving they weren't statuary. The initial moment extended out into a drawn out cessation of breath. There was no sound anywhere in the house. Esme stood next to me gripping my hand tightly as I held hers between my own. I knew Emmett and Rosalie were somewhere upstairs waiting to see what was going to happen as well. _

_A breeze kicked up outside, stirring leaves, and dust around Bella and Jasper's feet, blowing Bella's hair away from her face, while blowing Jasper's slightly across his. The sound of it howled through the open doorway, and under the eaves of the patio. A small dirt devil whirled and twisted its way across the driveway and died out as it beat itself against the stairs of the patio. As though its death gave life to the two couples, Jasper dropped his keys and began striding quickly across the dirt driveway at the same moment that Edward glided swiftly from the step to Bella's side. Just as Jasper reached the bottom step, Alice leaped from the top step into his waiting arms. They crushed one another into themselves. Edward had Bella's face in his hand and his lips pressed crushingly against hers. _

_Esme gasped and turning, leaned against my shoulder and gave in to shuddering sobs of relief. I heard Rosalie laugh upstairs, and Emmett actually whooped. _

_I heard the back door open and Renesmee and Jacob walked into the hallway. Renesmee stepped in and seeing Esme sobbing on my shoulder froze with a terrified look on her face. I looked at her and recognized her mistaken view of what she saw. I said her name softly, as I shook my head negatively and motioned for her to join us at the window._

_Renesmee crossed the living room quickly to stand beside Esme and I at the window, Jacob rolled his eyes and came up to stand behind her. He had his hands on the top of her shoulders, as if supporting her and keeping her together. I looked at him and silently thanked him for keeping these women whole, so they could make my family whole._

_*~*~*_

I didn't know. For the first time I could remember, for that one moment before Jasper's and my eyes met, I didn't know if it was going to work. I couldn't see it.

There was no way anything could change my love for Jasper, nothing was going to stop it, but once I looked into his eyes I knew we were finished letting anything come between us. Jasper held me tightly against him and carried me to the wall where he pressed me against the front wall of the house and, letting me slide down, kissed me. Our lips hadn't touched in over two years. Not since the last night Bella gave us, when she stayed with Edward before all the mess happened, when Edward had overheard Carlisle talking to Jasper about the Ottawa house and the whole family had gone into a tailspin when my foolish brother had tried again to off himself. Again. It was the kiss of a starving man and a body of water. He broke the kiss reluctantly and stepped back. He looked at my face as if he was remembering what it meant to see me after being blind, which wouldn't have been a bad analogy for how I felt about the last year and a half. After Jasper and Bella had returned to Ottawa, and Edward and I had left for Paris with Renesmee, Charlie, and Jacob in tow, I'd stopped being able to see. Nothing was clear, and we all suffered from my lack of certainty about the futures I saw.

I looked into Jasper's eyes as I heard Bella and Edward's footsteps ascending the porch steps. Neither Jasper nor I were willing to look away. I was waiting to hear Edward's voice, so I was surprised when it was Bella's that I heard.

*~*~*

As had always been the case, Jasper and Alice were having a moment so private, that it felt almost voyeuristic to be seeing it. For the sake of my own feelings about modesty, I said Jasper's name, hoping it would be enough still, to distract him. I was momentarily pleased to see that it was, but this moment belonged to Alice, so my moment of triumph was fleeting.

"Jasper?" I said quietly, respectfully. He looked up almost immediately and looked at me sadly. For some reason that made no sense at the time, we both laughed. Alice and I got the giggles, and the laughter took over. Looking back on it later, I think we were all laughing in relief. I think all four of us had feared we'd pushed everything too far, moved too far away to ever return to home. Somehow the laughter let us blow it all away. It became a passing storm.

Edward stepped forward and hugged Jasper, they stood with their arms around each other's shoulders and their hands clasped around each other's wrists. Edward spoke first, "Thank you brother, thank you for taking her away and taking good care of her, but most of all, thank you for bringing her back."

"Repay me by never forgetting for one moment of your existence, how special Bella is. I didn't love her by default, there are reasons why I feel it so deeply."

"I won't argue with such sensible recommendations," Edward said.

"Yes you will, but for once I won't let it go," Jasper chuckled.

*~*~*

_According to Alice and Edward, Paris didn't turn out as nicely as they had hoped it would. Apparently Renesmee could only keep Edward occupied for so long, and Alice could only take everyone shopping or shop herself so many times. Edward had tormented himself past coherency. After the month with everyone in Paris, Edward had travelled on to other countries in an effort to occupy himself. It hadn't worked out well for anyone. Renesmee had stayed in touch with Edward and Bella both, to her credit she hadn't brought up the split, she still spoke amicably with Jasper, the only one who she seemed resolved on not speaking to was Alice._

_Alice hurt every day, now not only because she missed Jasper, who she'd let go of, but now also because Renesmee seemed to blame her for everything. I watched with great sadness the day Edward returned to Forks. He'd come through the front door a shell, he'd returned the greeting Esme and I gave him, but there was no life in him as he did so. He hugged Esme perfunctorily, and she turned to me immediately afterward, her lovely face crumpled in disappointment. He'd said hello to all of us. Held Renesmee for several long moments, nodded to Jacob, ascended the winding staircase, and walking into his room, shut the door on everything._

_There was no laughter in my home for several months. When Edward had returned there were still ten months to go, and as each month wore by, at a snails pace, Edward became more reserved, Renesmee more nervous, Jacob less mirthful and Alice's pain seemed to grow tenfold at every turn. I felt a palpable ache when Bella and Jasper phoned, each sounding pleasant and happy, enjoying the life they'd made for themselves in Ottawa far away from the broken hearts littering the various rooms of our home. I couldn't have known then that Bella and Jasper, though content, were suffering from the separation as well. The only difference being that they had accepted that they'd made a commitmet to each other for that eight season term. It gave them a measure of contentment Alice and Edward were missing, also, each of the latter were avoiding seeking any sort of solace in each other. Whenever Alice and Edward started on the subject of Bella and Jasper, they fought. This drove Esme to grief, never had the two of them fought before, Edward and Alice had always been so beautifully connected by their respective abilities._

_It was Renesmee, and Jacob, they'd been the ones to pull the pieces of my broken family back together again. While on the phone with Bella, she'd recognized things which led her to know her Mom wasn't being honest about what she felt about the separation, and when she badgered her Dad, Edward, for the reasons behind what had happened, Renesmee had been furious with him. She'd phoned Bella, it was about a month before the last month of the second eight season mark. _

_Renesmee had told Bella the truth of Edward's mindset during the months apart. He'd been on a hunting trip, so wasn't there to stop her. We all tried to, but too late. Whatever Renesmee said, it had worked. Bella had phoned Edward later that night. Neither would admit what they'd said, wouldn't even speak about it, but Edward's attitude became even more irascible. Alice had come down to talk to Edward about one of the phone calls, they'd gone out front to speak to each other privately, Alice had returned inside and spoken to no one for several days._

_Finally the day arrived, the day Jasper and Bella were meant to return to the house following their Bella-imposed eight season mark._

_Until the moment Jasper and Alice had embraced, and Edward had more or less glued himself to Bella, none of us had known what the future would hold._

_After things were worked out, I was briefly concered that perhaps the tension of the situation would force them apart, fortunately I was most certainly wrong. It seems the situation served to make them all closer. The four of them, Alice and Jasper, Edward and Bella, became a private quartet. Over the years it developed into the closest relationship I've ever witnessed, and I never again saw any difficulties arise agian. Bella and Jasper continued to love each other deeply, but kept it outside the physical realm from then on. Of course, there was once, about four years after the final reunion, Edward told me a story from a few days before._

_"We were walking through the meadow on the otherside of the river in the back yard. We were walking in a line, abreast of each other. I held Bella's hand, she had Jasper's, he held Alice's on his other side. Alice was nagging Jasper about needing to buy him a few more pairs of jeans. Jasper turned to Bella, lifted her hand and kissed it, then looked at her seriously and asked, "Since Alice wants to harangue me about shopping all the time, are you ready to take another two year hiatus with me in Ottawa, Bella?" Edward had laughed loudly and uncontrollably when relating this. He said Alice yanked her hand out of Jasper's and hit him so hard in the stomach that he almost flipped, but landed on his back, on the ground instead. She'd stood over him in a green skirt, green top, with little green flats, her hair spiking everywhere, and her hands on her hips. Jasper gasped, "It was a joke, Peter Pan." And they'd all laughed, Alice had walked away arm in arm with Bella, glaring back at Jasper occasionally._

_Apparently, Alice didn't _**see **_any more visions of Jasper and Bella together, or if she has, she's never mentioned them again._

- FIN -

****A/N: Please take a moment and tell me which ending you preferred. =) Hope you enjoyed the chapter regardless. -Nie****


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